Women

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As a church, we kind of operate on a very simple basis. And that being that what Jesus has to offer our lives is the best that any of us could hope for in this world. And not just this world and also eternity to come. God created us for a reason. God created us for a purpose. And in knowing him and knowing that reason, we truly live for why God has designed us. The Bible promises as we follow after Jesus. What we experience in our life is joy. Meaning it may not always be easy and things may not always go the way we want it to, but what God promises us through the power of His Spirit as it works in our life is joy. If you’re with us this morning and I’m going to imagine everyone here physically present is also with us, right? We’ve just come to the very tail end of a series that we’ve been looking at together, and it’s How to Build a Christ centered home. This is the last portion of this series. If you’re interested in going back and listening to this series online, there’s we think we have half of it posted right now. The other half will be up here very shortly. If not, I know I should probably apologize to some of you, because typically when we go through a marriage series, what it means for you guys is every once in a while, you get a slap from your wife letting you know what you’re doing wrong, right? So you may not want to listen to it again, but.

But this series How to Build a Christ Centered Home. Our focus as a church family is on the family. God created the family as the first institution. Before there was a church, before there was a single Jewish person, before Jesus was even walking this earth. What God created was the family to carry out his functioning, purpose and desire for this world. And the family is important. This morning, as we began to examine just the tail end of this series together, I’ll take a step back and understand. As we’ve looked through portions of Scripture. What’s going on in the idea of the early Christian mind when they first began to follow Jesus? Christianity is really built on two simple principles. If if you’ve ever examined it yourself, really, if you want to disprove Christianity, all you have to do is disprove the validity of the Bible or who Jesus claims to be. All of Christianity is built on the trustworthiness of Scripture and the validity of who Christ is. I have, even in my own study in my life, as I’ve come to know Jesus, and as I was skeptical in following Christ with my own life, um, raised a lot of challenging questions for myself personally and decide, you know, if I was going to follow Jesus and if I wanted to follow what he taught in this world, I wanted to throw everything in the book at him, everything I could at the Bible, every challenge I could think of to present before him.

Because if there was some fallacy in following after Christ, I didn’t want to do it because he wasn’t worthy to follow after you. One of the first mistakes I made very early on in following after Jesus in my life is that I began to look at other people as an example of who Christ was. And what I found out in the lives of people is that people will always disappoint you, no matter what belief or religion or position you might carry an idea of who God is at some point. If you look to that person as an example, they will disappoint you in the way that they choose to follow Jesus. After all, the Scripture tells us that we are fallible. We are sinful. When I began to realize that, and I just started to following after Jesus with my own life, and I and I started studying the scripture from from my own life, not examining other people and testing it to see whether it’s true. The Bible even tells you to do that. Prove all things hold fast to that which is good. What I found is that no matter what I threw at Christ, he always stood as a pillar to what I believed throughout history.

You can even find various individuals who challenged Belief and faith in Christ. People such as C.S. Lewis, who wrote the book Mere Christianity. Josh McDowell, writing about his master’s statement while he was going to, I believe, Michigan State University challenging the validity of who Christ was as an agnostic or an atheist, went to disprove Jesus and Christianity. And yet he came out with this book called evidence that demands a verdict and placed his faith in Christ. It’s a very detailed book on how he came to trust in who Jesus was. All of Christianity is based on the trustworthiness of Scripture and Jesus. The early church. Many people came to know the Lord. In fact, in the book of acts it says at one particular point over 3000 people trusted in who Christ was. You can imagine the way that this faith in who Jesus was, the the proclamation, if you could even imagine by these early disciples and apostles, followers of Jesus saying, A dead man is walking. What a proclamation or even a statement. How absurd to even suggest such a thing that a man who died has risen from the grave. Giving their lives to say they saw a dead man walking. In the book of Corinthians, it even tells us that over 500 people at one point saw the resurrected Christ. Collectively together validating his resurrection to the point that even the early apostles would say to to one another, just just ask so-and-so.

Check with the 500 witnesses. See that it is true. Jesus has risen from the grave. They referred to himself in the very beginning as followers of the way. Later they received the name Christian. In the early first century, it was intended to be a derogatory remark meaning a little Christ. By the beginning of the second century, the name Christian no longer carried with it a derogatory remark, but it became a name to to be proclaimed by anyone who followed Jesus out of praise for what Christ had done in their life. And so today, as a church, we refer to ourselves as we follow Jesus as Christians, followers of him. Jesus was their teacher. He was their leader. They were his students. He was their God. They were learning as they followed Jesus what it meant to have a godly life, what it meant to be a disciple of him. And in so doing, what they began to recognize is as they followed Jesus. Jesus wasn’t just changing their life, they were. He was changing the lives of those around him as well. As they begin to follow Jesus, they saw transformational power not happening just just within their own heart and mind, in the way that they chose to live life and the pursuits that they followed after they they began to notice that that family and friends were seeing something powerfully happening with within their lives and begin to question, who is this Jesus? What does this have to do with marriage and the family? Our kids have an answer.

It was wrong. You know, at one point in ministry, the Christians began to to look at themselves and their families, and they begin to realize that though people came to know Jesus, not everyone did. Some people just didn’t want to trust him. Some of the people who were going to church noticing that God was changing their families, were also noticing that God wasn’t changing every family. And so in the book of Corinth, written to the Apostle Paul and to the apostle Peter, you’ll find questions about what to do with your family when not everyone wants to follow after Jesus They wrote to the Apostle Paul. The book of Corinthians is a book totally of all questions asking what do we do in a scenario when we want to build a Christ centered home? If not everyone is interested in following Jesus? Now, whether we’re talking about being an unbeliever or simply someone in your family who trusted in Christ at one point but is not interested in following after him, what do we do in that situation? Both Paul and Peter answered that question within a couple passages of scripture that we’re going to look at this morning. Those passages come in first Corinthians and first the book of First Peter. Paul deals with the practical side, your perspective, your attitude.

Rightfully so. Both Peter and Paul really only address the believer in this situation, because it’s the believer who’s only interested in making the choice that Jesus wants for their family. In First Corinthians, Paul addresses the perspective or the attitude of the Christian. And in first Peter, Peter addresses the actions of the Christian. What should we do in that scenario? This morning, let me just start by simply asking the question as a family together, if you find yourself in this boat, how should I view my marriage if my spouse does not follow Jesus? You know the concern in early Corinth. They had a lot of different religious practices happening within the city. A lot of different followings, religious rituals. I hate religion, but it was involved in that situation. And these religious rituals were intended to be an outward display to God, that it was some kind of cleansing perspective before God. So God would find you acceptable, as if you eventually did enough that eventually God would look down on you from from heaven and say, okay, I guess you’ve you’ve done enough good works. You might be worthy of coming before my presence. So go ahead, come on up. And if you didn’t involve yourself in all those good works, then what you were perceived as before God is defiled or unable to come before his presence, not worthy of standing before him and the Corinthians and first Corinthians seven were learning what it meant to follow after Jesus.

How it’s Jesus who does all the cleansing work, how it’s Jesus who takes all away all your sins. But their concern still came for the family. What if what if I’m following Jesus and no one else in my family is? If is their presence around me going to defile me in my walk with God? And Paul simply answers this question with an emphatic no! He says to the rest, I say, I, not the Lord. Meaning Jesus never specifically spoke on this topic, but Paul is now addressing it. He says that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. I like this passage. It makes me uncomfortable a little bit that Christians would think that far in understanding a relationship with Jesus, but I like the fact that they were willing to ask Paul the questions that they had on their minds just to find out what God’s interest was in their life since they were following him. And they asked God, God, if I’m married to an unbeliever, should it be of my interest to get a divorce? Or should I look to marry someone who is a believer in that situation? Is it going to mess up my relationship and following after you? What is your interest in this? And and Paul’s answer is simply an emphatic no, you shouldn’t.

God’s got you in a specific place for a specific reason. His first response, and maybe verse 12 and 13 is, If I’m involved in a marriage and we don’t see eye to eye on who Jesus is and following after him, the the first response that Paul gives us in verse 12 and 13 on our perspective is just simply be committed. I think even in your first point, I have as well be content. You’re exactly where God wants you. You know, something we’ve learned about marriage is we’ve studied together is that no matter where we are in our state with in a marriage, it can be better. It can always grow and improve. God’s desire for us right is to become one flesh. The thing that destroys that desire to become one flesh is sin. The same the thing that that that helps us to become one flesh is, is unity. More so, more specifically unity in Christ. And so the more that we pursue after that unity, the better our relationship gets before the Lord and with one another. But we always have a tendency as people to think that the grass is greener on the other side. What we saw in the first lesson together is that our relationship is not going to be healthy, if what we bring into it is an act of coveting.

It’s not about keeping up with the Joneses. It’s about being committed to the person that God has you married to right now. Paul gives an emphatic answer know God’s desire for you is to stay right where you are. And I recognize one thing about this passage of scripture Paul’s referring to physically leaving that marriage relationship. But you don’t have to physically leave a marriage relationship to check out. You know what I mean? We could also emotionally disconnect from that marriage relationship that God has given us the opportunity and the grace to be involved with. God’s desire for you. If you’re a believer, if you’re following after Jesus, is to continue and always continue to be committed to the one that God has brought before you, in which you have said, I do. Commitment. It’s an example that tells us in the book of Micah in which we have gone into this marriage covenant before God. Second, in referring to our attitude, what God desires for us, no matter what marriage relationship we find ourselves in, is to be thankful he says, for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Meaning this. It doesn’t mean that because you’re you’re a spouse and you’re married, that that though your your spouse doesn’t choose to follow Jesus, that you may or may not have the peace of eternity together.

What it’s saying is because you’re involved in that marriage relationship, because you’re following after Jesus, what you’ve caused your family to be is holy or set apart for God. You’re becoming a blessing to the family and ministering the truth of God into their lives in such a gracious way. You think about these last few weeks, seven weeks we’ve spent together in understanding what it means to be a follower of Jesus and building a Christ centered home. Direction that God has given us for our marriage together. And now God has blessed you with the opportunity of ministering that to your family, whether they’re believers or not. God has given you the opportunity to set them apart and follow after Christ together with them, to be an influence on what Jesus desires in their lives. They are sanctified. You have blessed them. Sometimes we’re not always thankful for that situation because we forget of of how God has brought us to the point he has in our own walks with him, how he’s changed our lives and in so changing our lives teaches us to love our husband or wife better. Teach us to care for our children more. So be thankful for where God has placed you in that marriage relationship as you choose to pursue and follow after him. Don’t. Don’t do this. Don’t go home to your family and say, I appreciate me.

Do you realize who I am and how awesome I am? I mean, I’ve learned all this now I know everything there is about marriage. Just listen to me. I’ve got the direction right. What it’s telling us in this passage of Scripture is because you follow Jesus. Jesus has given you perspective and purpose. And because you understand what it means to follow Jesus, he’s given direction to your marriage. And what he’s bringing more than anything into that marriage is grace, love, and forgiveness through you. What a thankful position that should be. As you think about how that helps and grows and nurtures your family closer to Christ, regardless of what they choose to do about Jesus, be thankful you’re committed to what God has called you to in your marriage. You’re thankful for what God has called you to, tells us in the second half of 14, be. Just think for a moment. If you weren’t committed to your marriage relationship, if you weren’t committed to your family, what would that bring? He says, for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean. But as it is, they are holy. You have an opportunity like no other in the intimacy of that relationship to reflect Jesus. And I’m not just talking about shoving the gospel down people’s throat and making Christ unappetizing.

What I’m saying is a life that is changed because you know Jesus. How blessed that family is. And he says, if you were to leave that situation, Corinthians. If you were to talk about divorce, even utter that word, think about what that would mean to your family and to your children by pulling Jesus out of there. God is capable of working miracles in the life of your family by your presence. And God wants you to love them. Can you imagine for just a moment you’ve come to know Christ. God is changing your life and you want Christ to change the life of other people. And the first person you’re interested in is your spouse. You think about for a moment you loved your spouse. You loved your spouse so dearly enough that you married them You loved your spouse so dearly that you have committed your entire life to them. And because Jesus has made such a tremendous impact in your life, he’s also something that you want to share with the person that you’ve chosen to love the most more than anyone here on this earth. And you were to go home, and you were just to say to them, you know what? Because I love Christ. Because of what he’s doing in my life. I just want you to know that he is changing me to love you more deeply. He is changing me to love you more sincerely.

He is changing me to be more committed to you, to appreciate everything that there is about you, and enjoy that relationship we have together. Imagine if you were to open up your Bible to first Corinthians 13. In a world that doesn’t know really what love is. And you were to say, what I found out today in church in first Corinthians 13 is, is how I’m going to love you better in our relationship. And you begin to read. Love is patient. And so when things get hard and maybe you’re just more irritable today, I’m just going to be patient and love you. And love is kind. And at different times in your life when you may feel unkind, I’m going to work so hard to love you and to be kind in love believes all things and endures. Love, hopes, love never fails. And what I’m saying to you, because I love you so much, is that I don’t want to ever fail you. Sometimes I man, I pray that you forgive me, but. But because I love you, I’m making this decision just to be this committed to you. Imagine, ladies, if you were to open the Proverbs 31 we’ve looked at together on being a biblical woman. And even if you’re married to someone who follows Jesus or not just from Proverbs 31, just say it starting in verse ten. You know, I’m going to focus on being this type of godly woman, and I want you to be an encouragement to life.

Because to my to my life, because I want to be this for you, because you’re that important to me. In first Timothy five and verse eight, where it tells the husband, if you don’t provide for your family. You’re worse off than an unbeliever. And you remind your wife that my job in this home is to take care of you because I love you. This is what God has called me to do. Ephesians four five and six. We’ve looked at together on how to communicate and love, how to be a godly wife or a godly husband, how to live in that marriage relationship, to explain those things to your spouse and what God desires for you to do. God wants you to be committed to where you are. God wants you to be thankful for where you are and what Peter or excuse me, Paul also shares is that God wants you to be hopeful. In first Corinthians chapter seven and verse 16, he goes on to say, for how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know husband, whether you will save your wife? Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. He reiterates the fact that he wants you to be committed to the cause.

But what he reminds us of is that there is a need within that marriage relationship to be hopeful. You know how important Jesus has been to your life. You know all the change that Jesus has brought into your life. And more than anything, I know as you’ve come to know him, what you desire is for your spouse to know him as well. I do too. I wish we could get away with all religion in this world. I wish we could. Everyone who’s ever heard the name of Christ, I wish those causes could be pushed aside and everything stripped away. And everyone in this world just having an opportunity to see how important Jesus is. And Paul reminds us in those situations, sometimes when it seems hard, and sometimes when when your heart aches for your spouse, and sometimes when you want nothing more than for them to have that hope that you have. Don’t. Don’t lose that hopeful thinking As Paul says, as you follow after the Lord, as you’re committed to your spouse, as you love them the way that God desires, you never know what the Lord might do. And so this morning, we just stop and pause where Paul has spoken in First Corinthians, and we just ask ourselves, how is your attitude in your marriage relationship? Do you need a little extra encouragement to be hopeful in the Lord? Do you need to be reminded of the commitment that you’ve made in God’s desire for you to continue to be committed, and to carry an attitude of thankfulness for where God has brought you into that marriage relationship.

Because knowing Jesus has brought so much more blessing not only to your life, but in how you love and appreciate your spouse in this world. Second, Peter begins to address. He doesn’t just focus on your attitude. What he also focuses on is the actions. How do you share Jesus with your spouse? You have an attitude and wanting to carry Jesus to your spouse. The attitude and perspective that you should have with your marriage. But maybe more importantly, the question we should ask ourselves this morning is how can we share what Christ is doing in our lives and who Jesus is with our spouse if they’ve chosen not maybe to follow after him, or even if they’re in a position where they don’t want to follow him, though they’ve known him. Peter addresses the wife in first Peter three and verse one. He says, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. Ladies, can I tell you something this morning? And you may not always grasp this or may not completely understand it. I’m just gonna give you a fact, and we’re just going to run with it today. Um, your husband needs your respect Men tend to think in areas of respect as people.

There was a there was a survey done by this man named Eugene Garrick. He was a he was a counselor. And he specifically recently done a marriage counseling seminar. It’s called Love and Respect. And within that seminar, he was he was asked or went to before a few hundred men and asked them, guys, if you were to live in a home and to be married, would you rather live in a home with no respect and all love or no love in all respect? And nearly 90% of the men responded that if they had to choose between the two, they would choose a home of respect without love rather than a home of love without respect. Respect is important to a man. Men fight for it, right? We even use the comparison together. When if a military man came forward this morning, we were to stand him before the church. The first thing the ladies now. Well, the first thing the ladies would know is the men came forward is how cute. Probably this guy looked in his uniform, right? Oh, look at that. He looks so nice in his uniform. First thing guys would notice is his rank. I mean, guys are always checking out badge. How many stripes? How many stars? Who is this guy? How high up is he? How important is he? What is his position? Because based on his position, there is a level of respect that comes with it.

I mean, even down to the animal kingdom. You can see this, the lion and his pride, right? When you hunt deer, you know, there’s a group of doe running around somewhere. There is a buck, but there’s only one buck because there’s only one king in that castle, right? There is a level of respect that plays out, even down to the animal kingdom in the area of men. Notice what he says to ladies in this passage of scripture. Ladies, if you’re interested in sharing Christ with your spouse, it’s not what you say. It’s not about what you say. It’s about what you do. And the last line it says they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. You know, we begin to notice something about men as we get older, even when they’re young. We’re not typically people who like to express our emotions and carry on long, in-depth conversations. Right? I know even in our own house, Stacy and I like to laugh about that. I’ll get on the phone with my dad and three minutes later the phone will be phone conversation will be over. She’ll get on the phone with her parents. Three hours later, she’s still going right. And she’ll wonder, how in the world do you have a three minute conversation with your dad? What do you talk about? It’s simple.

We start off with the weather, we end with the golf game, and we’re done, right? Every every father shares with his son how the weather is going. We find out, you know, there’s snow here. There’s not snow here. You could have got on the internet and found that out. But hey, it’s good. Love you, love you. Goodbye. We’re people of little conversation, right? We don’t always like to express our emotions. I tend to think a lot of ways. We’re a lot like that character on Spock. That must be why so many guys watch Star Trek. Spock was an emotionally detached individual, right? Our goal sometimes is to talk with his lease words as possible, to get to the main objective in which we’re discussing, in order to accomplish a specific purpose to be done, to go back to sitting in silence again. Right. You think just like Spock. I don’t know how Spock talks, but I know it’s always short and emotionless. Right. I mean, how many of you ladies have ever been sitting at home? And the guy comes home and all of a sudden you’re you’re you’re making dinner or something. You’re watching television. He turns in, he just turns off the TV and says, you ask him, what do you want to do today, honey? He says, there’s nothing more interesting to me today than just let’s talk, let’s explore. Let’s go deep with our emotions.

Let’s discuss what you’ve experienced today. Let’s have fun together. Let’s conversate. Right. That doesn’t happen with guys. And the older they get, the less they talk right If we could have entire conversations with the word yes no and the occasional grunt guys would do it. We do. Even from a young age, we were making machine gun noises as the little girl plays house talking to her family. Right? Every guy in this world may not know how to carry a good conversation, but I guarantee you, every guy in this room knows whether or not he can belch the alphabet, right? At some point in your life, you’ve attempted it. Right, guys? Guys are not creatures of conversation, typically. And so it says to the ladies in first Peter chapter three and verse one, if you’re interested in sharing Christ with your husband, the thing that’s going to speak louder than words to him is a life that displays it. Men, typically, if they talk, choose to talk to achieve a goal or a purpose, an objective. They don’t talk to go through an emotional experience, but just for a purpose. And when that purpose is accomplished. Conversation over. Peter’s recommendation to ladies is they desire for a spouse to grow in the Lord. To know him, to get closer with him is to lead a life that says you already know him. He goes on to explain a little bit further.

I love the details of Peter because when he talks to the women, he goes into detail. When he talks to the men, it’s just in a sentence you’re going to see in just a minute. He says in verse two, when they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external. The braiding of hair, or putting on of gold or jewelry or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. I want to stop for just a second and say, ladies, what he’s saying is don’t, don’t. He’s not saying dress nasty. Okay. Your husband married you. One of the things he loves about you is that you look beautiful every day. Okay, so he’s not saying start dressing trashy. What What he’s saying is, let’s not make it about religious things. Let’s not make it about making ourselves look good on the outside. When we’re as wicked as can be on the inside. What your primary concern should be when you want to display Christ to other people, is to be concerned with your heart. No one wants to listen to the words that you have to say if it’s not changing the way that you’re living. And so he’s sharing with the the ladies to to adorn themselves, starting with their heart. He goes on to say, for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands.

As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children. If you do good, and do not fear anything that is frightening. Now the underlying calling him Lord. And I just wanted to do this as a warning to guys. Um, you can try this at home, I guess, if you want, but, um, I’m sure your ladies aren’t going to take to this calling. Calling you Lord, right? It’s probably not a good idea that might end up in a disaster very quickly. I once met a guy who read this portion of the Bible. I think it must be the only portion of the Bible he ever read, because he actually had his family referred to him as Lord. I don’t I don’t know what planet he was from. I don’t know how long that marriage is going to last, but that’s that’s not exactly what Scripture is saying here. God doesn’t desire for you to call, to have your spouse call you Lord. What Sarah is doing to Abraham is she’s referring to Abraham in a term of endearment. Just a simple term of the time that showed respect. In fact, if you go through scripture, you’ll see Abraham even used that term of endearment and a term of respect at particular points in his life. Abraham or Sarah? Excuse me.

Through that one word is showing reverence to her husband and the desire to just want to want to help him, to serve him, to submit to him and whatever God desires for her life. Simple question is this based on this passage of Scripture? What kind of home does your husband come to each and every day? What’s your home life like? Proverbs tells us in chapter 27 and verse 15 that the dripping faucet is similar to a nagging wife. As your husband, happy to get home and be in front of your presence because of your desire just to give yourself to him, to love him, to respect him, to appreciate him. That’s the kind of man who just wants to avoid home, who wants to stay at work longer and longer each and every day because it’s more pleasant for him to be at work and doing his job than to enter into his home because his wife is a lady who cares respect for him. She actually becomes a woman who nags him. Proverbs 12 says this an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. But she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones We’ve said together that a man can’t live with a quarrelsome wife. He can’t live with a nagging wife. See, God has called him to the headship of the home, to be the leader of the home, to be responsible to the home.

God’s holding him accountable for the way he leads his home. And if his wife is a lady who carries no respect but lots of nagging for him, his choices are to fight her and look like a bully, or to cower and look like a spineless man. He can’t win in that predicament. And what Peter is saying to the believers here is that your life, the way that you choose to live, is the greatest example that you can present before your husband. Married ladies, I’m going to give you a reference if you want your husband just running home from work later for the rest of his life. Proverbs chapter five, verse 15 and 20 say, go home and read that a little bit later. Guarantee for the next month he’ll be at home early from work every day. So Proverbs 515 and 20. I’m not going to read it now, but you can look at it later What becomes unappetizing to a man, especially in this situation. We talk about the nagging wife being unappealing to him. It also becomes a wife who typically just nags with the gospel. You know what I mean by that? I know when I first became a Christian, the Bible says at the very last verse of Matthew chapter 28 and verse 1920, go into all the world and preach the gospel, right? I had no idea exactly how to do that. I had no idea what the best way to do that was.

And so my first attempts at doing this was find someone and run up to them and just share the gospel real quick and run away real quick because it’s embarrassing. I have no idea what I’m saying and it makes me feel uncomfortable. That was the first impression. And so while I was doing, was giving somebody just a jamet gospel pill shot of just look how important Jesus is, and I walk away. And then they were displeased with my approach, and I was wondering why in the world they didn’t want to know the Lord. Right? There is something about the way that you represent Jesus in this world that is a sweet savor to the people around you. You know one thing your husband will not want to turn off in this world is a wife who is pleasant and a wife who loves him and cares for him. The one thing that he will want to turn off is someone who continues to nag him, regardless of what it is, especially if it has to do with the gospel. There was a lady who went to a counselor because she was experiencing problems in their marriage. What he began to notice in their marriage relationship she trusted in the Lord. He hadn’t followed after the Lord yet in his life, and and she began to major on the preaching. She became so concerned with him, she became so fixated on on his need to know the Lord that she forgot about her own life and being that example for him.

And so the council began to ask him, what? What are you doing in your own life to to follow after the Lord? And she really made her life a trap to her husband. She began to have Bible studies in her home to trap him, to force him to listen to Bible studies. When she listened to Christian radio constantly when he came home from work, she she blared the radio station to make sure that he heard it. She left gospel tracks just laying all over the house. Wherever he was, wherever he was, it was going to be in his face. And those things, like I should say, stop and say those things can be fine. It’s okay to listen to Christian radio. It’s okay to have Bible studies in your home. It’s okay to have books dealing with Jesus laying around. What it’s not okay to do is to present those things and shove them in people’s faces when it’s not natural to your own life. As she chose to follow after the Lord with her life, as he chose to be an example for God in her life, those things would have naturally flown in her own position as she followed after Jesus. What Paul says to us, and what Peter said to us this morning as ladies in this predicament, regardless of any choice that any anyone in your family might make, it’s important for you just to follow Jesus You don’t follow him for the purpose of other people to follow him.

You follow him because that’s what God’s called you to do, is you have chosen to follow after him with your life. Just follow Jesus. Be concerned with your heart. Be concerned with your character. Be concerned with your choices. Be concerned with your actions regardless of what someone else may choose to do. It’s about you following Jesus. You know that marriage advice fits for anybody. Because we know in marriage, at some point your spouse, you or your spouse is going to act ungodly. You’re going to do something wrong. And every spouse in this room has a choice in those moments. Are you going to give in and partake of that sin with him and fight back, or are you just going to give up and let Jesus have control This portion of Scripture tells to all ladies, and it will apply to men in just a moment. Live for Jesus. Be concerned with your life, with your own heart. Let that be the light that shines forth. Let those examples by the conduct and the deeds of your life that is being transformed and changed by the power of Christ. Be what’s made known. At the end of your life, may people say, not only did she share Christ in a way that people could understand, but man, she lived for him.

The Bible goes on to talk about the men. It says in first Peter chapter three and verse seven. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives and an understanding way, showing honor to the women as the weaker vessels, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered because you don’t have to look in the mirror to know that your wife is more beautiful than you are. After all, the older you get, the more hair pops up in strange places, right? What he’s talking about in this passage of scripture, he refers to women as weaker vessels. He’s not saying women are lower than men, because he goes on to say, since they are heirs of the grace of life. Can I tell you in this passage of Scripture, I don’t think that grace of life necessarily is referring to eternity. I think it’s talking about the grace of this life together. Because you remember, as this passage of Scripture started off, it was referring to to unbelievers as well as believers. God has given you this grace of experiencing life together. And what God desires for you to do is to adorn her as a weaker vessel. And it carries this, this image. In our life, though we are equal, we are different in the way that God has designed your life as much like an ornate item within your home, in which you place as the centerpiece of decoration to either your living room or to your kitchen.

You think about an expensive vase or a chandelier that often hangs in homes. When you come into that home. It is the centerpiece of beauty. It is elegant, but it is gentle. And he’s telling to the gentleman in this passage of scripture, guys, treat your women in that way. Treat your wife in that way. Show that kind of concern and respect for her. She is the gentle, beautiful, artistic masterpiece of your home, and the opportunity and the desire for God’s call in your life is to appreciate what she’s bringing to you and to your family. How do you appreciate that time? She’s the grace of life with you. May I suggest something? Turn off your TV. Sit down and say, let’s talk. Now, knowing Knowing that men typically talk for an objective or purpose. Let me give you a cheap but great idea. Go on a walk. All right. You go on a walk together. You think as a man in your head, we are having a goal and objective. It’s to start here, to end here. Let’s go on this walk. Come on. Let’s do it and take off together. Okay. And along the way, she’s going to start talking to you the whole time you’ve gotten a goal objective to get back to your destination.

But you can begin to enjoy that conversation with your spouse as well. I can say this because the burnhams aren’t here anymore, but one of the things I really appreciate about watching them, if you ever had the opportunity to watch just their marriage every day in the evening, Tom and Cheryl would leave their home and go on a walk together. Some of you who live in that neighborhood probably saw them. Tom probably wasn’t interested. He’s not a conversating kind of guy, was he? He’s a quiet guy, but what he was doing was taking the time to appreciate his wife as the weaker vessel, as an Artistic, beautiful form in his home. God’s desire for you is to appreciate who God has given you in your home. Notice what he says in the very end of this passage of Scripture. If you’re interested in following after Christ in your life, one of the things that should be remarkably a part of that life is communicating with God. After all, it’s how relationships grow. People are always changing. Unless we’re engaged in conversations growing together, we’ll grow apart. And what God says in this passage of Scripture, if you’re following after me, if we’re in a relationship together, you’re interested in me being your Lord and you following, following me with your life. He says, listen to your wives. Treat them with respect as heirs to the grace of life.

And here’s why. So that your prayers won’t be hindered. God’s saying to men, men, I’m not interested in listening to you unless you’re interested in listening to your wife. That’s how important your marriage relationship is to me. That’s how important your experiences that your wife’s going through and the need to connect with you is to me. Your wife already knows this. That’s why she continues to come before you and have conversations. And sometimes you blow her off, not willing to go any, any deeper and just stay on the surface level with conversation with her. But God is telling to us, men, because we have the tendency to do this sometimes is to neglect her and her needs and her life, and not present Jesus in the way that loves her for the way that she is designed. In the most important thing that we can choose to do to people. Oftentimes what we do is that we love people the way that we want to be loved. As women, we enjoy conversation with one another, talking about emotional experiences and and what we enjoy in life together and just having that time. If you want a good scenario to go through, go to the ladies group where there’s 20 ladies listening or 20 ladies in a in a group together, and there’s 20 conversations going on all across one another, and each of them knows what the other one is saying.

I don’t know how it happens, but. But ladies tend to love you the way that they desire to be loved. And women, we tend to love our husbands the way I’m talking, like I’m a lady. The way that they desire to be loved. So we need to rewire our thinking sometimes to love men the way that they desire to be loved. Husbands, love your wife the way that she desires to be loved. Jesus is warning to you through Peter so that your prayers will not be hindered. Your relationship with God will continue to grow. Let me ask you guys, did you date your wife to marry her or did you marry your wife to date her? That was good, wasn’t it Think about it for a second. Whenever some of the guys head. So let me repeat it again, guys. Did you date your wife to marry her or did you marry your wife to date her? See, because I think that she may have been duped into the idea or the experience that when you were dating together before you married, that that relationship and your enjoyment and her and everything that she brought into your dating world was going to continue into marriage. But once you got settled down, you forgot what it meant to date your wife and be concerned for her as the weaker vessel. Guilty, right? Wives. What about you? Because your husband remembers. And it was so easy when you were dating to continue to date to to date you.

Because. And to show that love. Because when you were coming into a room with his presence, you thought he was Mr. It man. I mean, he was so strong, there was nothing he could do wrong in your world. And he had all the respect in the world. A few mistakes later and maybe, just maybe a little bit of that respect and a little bit of that love that you carried for him has dwindled. If you want your husband to love you the way that you desire to be loved, you need to respect him the way that God desires for you to respect him. If you want the respect from your wife, man, you need to love her the way that God desires for you to love her. That works for anybody, doesn’t it? The concern for Peter is just to have the opportunity to share with an unbelieving spouse, and even a believing spouse. The beauty of what Jesus is doing in your life. I like how he concludes this passage. He spoke a lot to the women. He spoke just one little verse to the guys. Look, see, it’s just one sentence. It’s got a couple commas in it, but just one sentence there. And in verse eight and nine he he speaks to everybody. What’s your attitude really? If we carry an attitude that’s found in verse eight and nine through all relationships that we experience in life, we’re going to have no problem in sharing how important Jesus is to us.

We’re going to have little problems in getting along with with people around us. He says in verse eight, finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but on the contrary, bless. For to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. You know what I notice about passages of Scripture like this is really it’s carrying the attitude of the gospel in all circumstances. And this is the way Jesus really treated everyone in this world as he came to this earth to die for us. As we’ve looked at Ephesians together in a marriage relationship, and we’ve saw it in verse chapter four and five what it means to communicate biblically and love one another. It goes on in verse five, chapter five and it says, wives, submit to your husbands, as he is the head of the. As Christ is the head of the church. So submit to your husbands as he is the head of the home. And he goes on to say, husbands, uh, give your lives for your wife. Die for her. Literally give everything you’ve got to who she is. It tells us as you love her, you will cleanse her through the washing of the word.

The more you love your wife, the more lovable she becomes. In Ephesians five, when Paul wrote to us for us to understand and get a biblical picture of what marriage was all about. Do you know the only thing that he described in that marriage relationship for us is the gospel? He compared it to Jesus being the head Jesus coming to this earth, Jesus dying because Jesus died and was resurrected. We’re being cleansed through him as we follow after him with our lives. Jesus sanctifies us, sets us apart. Makes us new. Gives us a new life in following after him. Do you realize the solution to every adversity we face in any relationship in life is found within the gospel the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. The gospel isn’t just a part of the Christian life. It’s everything to do with the Christian life. When we have trouble within our marriage relationship, or we have trouble in any relationship whatsoever, all we need to do is just sit down and say, what part of the gospel do I need to live here to elevate and bring this position back to the place that God wants it? Do I need to die to self like Jesus died right now because I’m fighting for something that’s not necessary? Do I need to forgive in this moment the way that Jesus forgave? Do I need to allow it to cover this multitude of sins? That way we, me and my wife, can just love.

Do I need to love? Maybe my spouse is feeling this way right now because they don’t have the love that God desires for them to have or they’re not going to respect, because there’s a lot of pressure in their life right now and they’re getting beat down. I mean, what part of the gospel do I need to live out in this situation that Jesus may be glorified? Our relationship could be healed and God be proclaimed in this situation. The gospel has everything to do with the Christian life. As we think about this. We carry that attitude in this passage of Scripture. Your actions in your marriage, your actions, whether you’re married in a divided, spiritually divided home or not, your actions lay the groundwork for the grace of the gospel to be played out in the lives of the people around you. You should seek in your life to change your life before you expect someone else to change theirs. Don’t be so fixated on everyone else that you forget what God’s doing in here. Seek to become that person that God desires. Change your life for the glory of God, regardless of what other people do or say. And the only person you’re going to be held accountable for at the end of this life is you. And don’t get fixed on forcing other people to change. You know what Paul and Peter have both said, as the opportunity that we have before us is just to live and pray.

Live the life that God has called you and pray as if everything depended on it. There’s a story about a man and a wife who were going through some trouble in their marriage, and the husband was reluctant to go to counseling with the wife. That’s very important, right? I mean, obviously, the guy’s not gonna want to go to counseling because he’s got to get in touch with his feelings, get a little bit deeper. And the wife was more apt to do that. And, and, uh, and so she starts going to this counseling and she comes home and he notices things are different. And all of a sudden, one day without his wife, he just shows up in the counselor’s office and the counselor asks the man, what are you doing here? Your wife isn’t even here. You’re supposed to be coming to this together. Why are you showing up? And he said, there has been such a difference that’s been made in her life, and the way that she’s choosing to live and the way that she’s appreciating me, that some miracle has been done in our in our marriage. And I had to come and see for myself what it is. Never underestimate the power of a life that just pursues Jesus, because it wants to know him more deeply and more intimately.

Bible says in Matthew chapter five and verse 16, in the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father in heaven. Paul wrote in the end of first Corinthians seven. And we saw in verse 16 and 17, you never know. You never know what might. What God might do in your circumstance. You never know how God might work. Are you content with where God has you committed to that cause? Thankful for being everything that God has called you to be for the sake of your loved ones around you. As a church family together, what we’ve seen throughout this series is that no marriage is perfect. No marriage is perfect. But what God desires for us is unity and oneness, both in the marriage and in the family. In order to achieve that, we’ve examined together how God has taught us how to communicate and appreciate and love one another. In Ephesians four and five, God has described for us in Genesis one and three and Ephesians chapter five and six. What a godly family looks like. We even talked about what it means to be single before the Lord, and how to perceive that in God’s eyes, what it means to be a godly man, how to stand in that position that God has called you, and being a man what it means to be a godly woman and living in that marriage relationship and following after the Lord.

How to discipline. We talked about the difficult word of discipline. We talked about the difficult word of submission. You guys are so nice to me on that day. We’ve talked about even what it means to be in a relationship where we may not see eye to eye on our faith. Why? Because God loves your family. God is concerned for you, for your marriage, and for your family. Life is about relationships in your marriage. You’ve chosen and selected love someone more deeply than you would ever love anyone in your life. Jesus created us when he made man and woman. He said, it’s not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. And in creating woman, he created someone that completes him and his weaknesses. She brings strength and in his her weaknesses he brings strength. Before anything was created in this world, before any institution designed, God created marriage and his concern is your relationship to one another and to him. I hope as we’ve gone through this series together, you find that your marriage has been blessed, encouraged, and strengthened. In two weeks, we’re going to be beginning a new series called Be Complete. We’re going to go through the book of Colossians together and find out what a completeness means in following after Christ in our lives. Let’s close in a word of prayer