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I’m glad to see you all here this morning. We’re in a series together on family. And I want to start this morning with all kinds of smiles, because today’s topic is is a very confrontational one, one that I wouldn’t even be so bold as as to state other than it comes in scripture. And so I think it’s important for us to look at this series of family together. We’re going to end these last two weeks talking about the idea of family feuding. And we started this with with setting the idea of what God has created family for sort of the picture on the map, what God desires for family. And we talked about it this way. When it relates to to family, really, this doesn’t isolate any of us, no matter where we are in our relationships in this world, because whether you feel like you’re in a in a place where you’re single or or you’re in a one parent home or however you might describe that what God is sharing with us in Scripture from from this topic of family is important for everyone. Because when it relates to family, all of this makes application both to the the biological family or the physical family that God may have you in and the spiritual family as well. These these truths that God shares from us in Scripture as it relates to families, it really cross-pollinates in both the spiritual realm and the physical realm and how we relate to one another as a church and how you relate to two people in your home and as you interact in your life.
And so this is really important for us to go through. And so we set week one what the target is, what God desires for family. And that’s important for us to recognize, not because our desire is for you to go home and just demand it of your family, but to really understand what Jesus wants to do in you and through you, through your family and in your relationships, it sets the ideal. Now, here’s what we know when we look at the ideal in Scripture. If you ever go through passage of Scripture that describe what godliness is, at some point you read a word and you’re like, Man, that ain’t me, brother. Right? That’s that is that is my struggle right there. And so God sets the ideal. But what we what we live in as people is the real and what we know about family, church, family, physical family and those relationships is that when God designed them, he designed them to be a blessing. And what we see in those relationships is sometimes what comes about is conflict. And when we engage that conflict, it’s important for us to recognize that what God desires to do in that conflict. It’s a beautiful thing if we allow him to have control, really.
God, I think, is most glorified in the darkest places of our lives. It’s when he’s allowed to penetrate that darkness that the beauty of who he is is really made known. In fact, when God talks about the fruit that he wants to make known in your life love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, those things of the spirit, those those things aren’t done simply when things are going well in your life. But the reality is it’s when life is difficult, that the beauty of Christ is really seen, for example, as it relates to Jesus. It tells us God demonstrates his love towards us and that while we were sinners and when you really recognize your need for Jesus, that is the beauty of where you see who Christ is in your life. That in spite of sin. Someone still chooses to love you. And that’s what makes family. However you interact with that phrase a beautiful thing when Jesus pierces that darkness. Because we reflect that in our relationships as well. Or at least we’re called to. And today’s topic is important to me. It’s especially important to me because of my background as a young man growing up as a kid, I grew up with a lot of pent up anger that I couldn’t figure out how to let out through circumstances that I grew up and around. When I when I was a child, I felt like I was in a place of helplessness to to to make my environment a safer place or a better place.
And so this this anger just built up within me. And in some ways, unknowingly it was it was somewhat encouraged. I grew up a little bit rough. Just just to give you an maybe an example that might help. I remember when I was seven years old at my birthday party, one of the presents given to me at seven years old. I couldn’t even imagine doing this for seven year old was a was a weight bench. And so at seven years old, I remember I got these weights and I found myself in environments where I just wanted to get tougher. I wanted to solve my problems through whatever physical means I could to get them to go away. And I started lifting weights at a young age. I didn’t start when I was seven. I would play with them when I was seven, but at a young age I really started lifting weights by the point I entered ninth grade into high school and I was on the senior weightlifting team benching over £300. I was a all that anger I had as a child. I built up inside of me. And I remember there was one individual that was just over my life and I would remind him daily, the only reason I’m lifting weights is because when I’m older, I am going to beat the snot out of you.
That was that was my statement to them. And I said, I don’t care if I’m 80 years old, if it takes time, I’m 80 years old to finally have the strength to do this, because this individual was large. My goal, that was what I lived for, this anger. And it just just buried deep in my heart. And to the point when I when I graduated high school, got into college, it really just I came to a place where I realized I could not You can’t continue life with that sort of destruction in embedded in your heart. And at that same point in life, I started looking for purpose and meaning to life, trying to find something that life was about. And I thought to myself, you know, I would just explore religion to see if an answer was there. Eventually it led me to Jesus and I couldn’t I couldn’t shake what Jesus was. And and in this individual who started meeting with me about Christ, teaching me about Jesus, I put my faith in Christ. And this this crazy thing happened to me. All of the anger that I had just built up within my life, that just frustration, just boiling over, just wanting to let it out, making someone feel that punishment. It it literally just died. And it put me in a weird place. And it’s not saying that I’m not telling you this morning everything I did after that, it has been just perfect, Right? And I don’t if anyone ever tells you that, don’t believe it.
The Book of James in chapter one says, Contrary to that or first John, it says, If anyone says he does not sin, he is a liar. So I’m not telling you everything. In my relationships. I’ve always been perfect, but it put me in this place now where all this anger I had, all this, this energy I was devoting towards training and working out and and really grappling. And I started fighting with some MMA guys, and it just went away. And from that day on, I really never picked up another weight to lift, other than every once in a while when I realize I can’t fit in my pants anymore. But. But other than that, that frustration and anger was gone. And now I found myself in a weird place because I started reading the Bible and I started to see what a godly individual was described in Scripture. And it really had me worried because I thought to myself, you know. I don’t know if I can do this. And I’ve not seen this example in my life. And I started recognizing what God was calling me to. And it became worrisome in my heart. And and as I studied scripture, the more and more I saw the impossibility I felt of what God was calling me to.
But but here’s the good news this morning. If you’re in the same boat maybe as I’ve been in, or maybe you’re in that place now where you’ve seen that that frustration. We’re going to look at that passage. For me, that really, really put into terms to help me understand how to navigate in relationships in a healthy way. But not only that, when you look in scripture, it seems like as you study scripture, God really uses stubborn, hotheaded people for whatever reason. If you look at how the New Testament Church started, if you were to say, Hey, describe Peter’s personality, I would say like to the T, Peter is the hothead and and God, God really used him in refining his his passion only, only rather than in anger and destruction. How God might use that energy and that passion for his glory and purpose. And not only Peter. I think Paul was like that too. In fact, at one point he got mistaked for Hermes, who was considered in Greek mythology, this this one who would proclaim the Greek gods and so and so Paul was one who would tend to shoot off at the mouth as well. And so you see in Scripture that God really used stubborn, hot headed people, that he transformed their lives. And so I just want to say, if you say, man, I know this is going to hit home on me today.
I don’t want to hear this. I’m going to say this to you. Here’s the great news in all of it. God can really use that passion. If we could just take that that passion in you and and that understanding that or that that desire God has and use it for his purposes, God can do tremendous things in that. And and so it’s important to see some of this in Scripture. So I want to tell you, here’s here’s my goal for today. We’re going to talk about conflict, family feuding and how that looks when when, when we approach it. And if you’ve got pent up aggression or you’ve got the ability to be a stuffer in relationships, there’s different ways we approach conflict. We don’t always have to let it out aggressively, but you can be passive aggressive. In some ways. My goal isn’t just simply to say, and this is what it looks like for all that to go away. That’s not my goal. I’m not saying all we want is peace so we can just move on in peace. What I’m saying is we want even more than that. When Jesus sets the ideal of what relationships are about, that is what we want. We don’t just want to experience the end of conflict, but we want to experience the goodness of Christ being made known in our relationships.
Now, sometimes I think one of the reasons that we don’t handle conflict well is because our only desire in approaching it is to just get what we want. And then when we get what we want, we just walk away. But what we’ve missed in getting what we want is the beauty of everything that God would want to do beyond that. And so I think we we can sell God’s short in that. But when it comes to to to conflict, this is what I know about human beings this morning. We all have conflict and that’s what makes makes us all alike in relationships. There is nobody here this morning that’s going to say, you know, when it comes to to my marriage and my relationships and my my family, every day was better than the day before. Right? Baloney. Baloney. There are there are seasons of goodness and there are seasons of stress. And and all of us approach it different ways. Some of us are are peacemakers where no one wins, really, in that some of us are suckers. Some of us are litigators, Right? You don’t really ever confess anything. You just kind of negotiate terms until both parties agree and then you sign your paperwork and move on. There are those that argue. There are those that nag. There are those. That stuff there. There are so many ways. That we could describe ourselves in the way that we handle conflict.
And sometimes we may not always handle every situation the same. But here’s here’s where it starts this morning. We’re going to be in James chapter four, this passage of scripture. It was important to me. So we’re really going to look at two verses this morning in James four. I almost want to tell you, don’t look at it so we can work through this together. But but for those that like to take notes right in their Bible, go ahead and turn there. But just so you know, we’re going to go through this a section at a time. Don’t cheat and read ahead. And you guys have already cheated and read ahead, right? James, Chapter four. This is what James says. Chapter four and verse one. What causes fights and quarrels among you? This was like one of those shocking statements that I that I read as a believer. And I’m trying to discover how to navigate in life, in relationships. Like this is like one of those things where you just read it and you’re like, Huh? He’s about to describe this for us. What causes quarrels and fights among you? You know, if I were to ask you the question this morning in our room, I would say we might have as many answers to this question as we have people in this room. I mean, you guys will say, I know exactly who she is, right? Jenny from the Block is causing my problems.
That is my quarrel and conflict this morning, or it is my boss or whatever. If they would just do what I would say, then everything would be perfect and there would not be any quarrel and conflict. Right? I mean, we could give all all kinds of answers. And when James is about to give his answer, this is where I come to this passage. I say, you know, I am thankful that the Bible is saying this. Because you ever come to a person in a relationship where they’re at a stress point and you’re on the other side, and have you ever done it like this? You you know, you want me to tell you what your problem is? I mean, how many times did you get in response back to that? Oh, please tell. Right. Oh, dude, share. It doesn’t happen like that. But James in these moments is about to share this thought that when scripture speaks, when someone’s from the outside can interject into a moment, it’s much more beneficial than than you coming in and nagging someone else. What causes fights and quarrels among you? James gives one answer. Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? And James’s answer to us. Isn’t where you point the finger to put the blame. Right? It’s not others. It’s not. If everyone would do what I would say, then there would be peace.
What James is saying is if you really want to know where that anger comes from. If you really want to know where the quarreling starts. You’ve got to start with yourself. I’m going to tell you as we go further into this today, there’s going to be a tendency within you that says, oh, boy, this is going to be good. I wish so-and-so was here to hear this. I cannot wait to message this to them later today. But I want to say this. James isn’t worried about them this morning. What James is asking is for you to deal with you. When your kids are going nuts and you’re about to lose your lid. When there’s tension in your marriage relationship. And James is saying to us, the tendency on our part is to say them. And what James is saying in these moments is, no, when we’re talking about quarreling, what gets that battle engaging is really what what begins to build up with others. And this is why it’s important to understand is because when we encounter relationships, relationships are messy. No one’s perfect. And when we model Jesus to each other in our weaknesses, that’s where it makes our relationship strong. Can I can I tell you when you’re in conflict with someone? Our tendency is to blame the other person. But do you know when there’s ever a conflict, the other person isn’t the problem.
Sends the problem. And when the quarreling starts, James saying it’s in your heart. And so this is what’s really important to start with on this passage of Scripture is just to say this as long as you blame others for your unhappiness. You’re never going to be happy. James wants us to to take responsibility, to understand where we fit into how God wants to move in relationships. Now I look at this passage and starting off with James. Before we get into verse two, I just want to say and James, I don’t want to agree with you today, right? When I call on conflict, it is not me. It is it is something in them. But the truth is. They may have done something to provoke a response from me. But God holds me accountable for me. God’s accountability. No one forces me to react in anger or frustration or or to treat people in a negative way. That that quarrel starts within me. I may give an excuse as to why it happens, but it’s something taking place within me. And so the passage goes on in verse two and says this You desire but do not have. Right now we’re going to deal with the other side of this next week if, if by grace, in those moments where where someone’s coming to you in frustration and you feel that tension, you feel that anger, how do you handle it from the other side? But what James is saying in chapter four and verse two, you desire but do not have any time.
You’re frustrating. Any, any time that starts to build up and you react out of that, you’re communicating. There is something that’s taking place where you have a need that’s not met. Unfortunately. The way we choose to communicate it. Isn’t done with godly action. In fact, here’s the sobering statement James makes. The very next phrase he just says to us, Now, I want you to understand exactly how that reaction affects the situation. So you kill. You desire, but do not have. And so the result is you kill. When James is talking about this killing and this in this passage. I think it’s hyperbole. Meaning he’s not in a prison dealing with murder murderers. He’s dealing with individuals who are killing in a different way. And let me give you an example. When Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount, he he compared anger to killing. The question is, what exactly are you killing? When you remember, we set the target on the map what God desired God. God said that for the family who wanted to be fruitful, multiply, subdue the earth. Right. And he said when it comes to husband and wife, that that two would become one flesh. That one is is so intimate, so close, you can’t tell where one begins and and the other ends.
And he describes the church in such a relationship that you’re forgiving sin and you’re fighting for the unity. You’re not fighting for division, but you’re you’re fighting for the unity. And so when James talks about the killing here, this is what you’re killing. You’re killing the community that God desires for you to reflect the beauty of who he is in. You desire, but you do not have. And so you kill. Maybe if I gave an illustration. It’s like this. You start to think about the individual needs above what God desires to accomplish in the group. It’s like if you ever have have seen the morning after shots of Black Friday, you know, there’s always that one lady who, regardless of the crowd, everyone must die for her to get that television or whatever it is, or the newest, the newest shopping toy, That’s all the craze that you can sell on eBay for a thousand times more than what it was sold for at Walmart. You know, it’s sacrificing all of that. Who cares what happens around me? I’m going to get what I want for the sake of me. The result of that. Nobody wins. Reality is, even the individual who approaches that scenario with the desire to make the group fit their need. Is not truly happy. Because they know this verse is accurate. I got what I wanted. And the immediate. But I’ve just killed. God.
Is there a way to navigate that? So that rather than killing. I give to my family. My family gives back to me. And we bless each other. And our human nature is this. We like to say this on paper. I don’t think we always do this in practice. But yes, what do you what do you live your life by? It’s the golden rule, right? Do unto others as they do unto you until homie wrongs me. And then I’m taking them out back, right? I mean, I live by the golden rule when everything is okay and the minute something goes wrong. Then it’s about vengeance, getting back what I deserve. And then when I get my retribution, then we can go back to communal living. And Jesus’s life is contrary to that. He recognizes because of his position, he gets to leverage who he is in that moment for the benefit of everyone. That as everyone finds health and identity in him, that the the whole community is blessed in that. And from this, this is what we find when we seek what we want, when we we desire, what we do not have. And so we kill. We find parents killing relationships with with kids and kids doing the same or or spouses in conflict or even relationships outside of that and really any arena. When you approach a conflict. Because of this frustration. The immediate desire that you’re trying to satisfy is to have your need met.
Right? Let’s get the result I want. Can I say something this morning? This is maybe more of a proverbial statement, which means it doesn’t necessarily transpire into everything in life. But can I just tell you, if I could give you a thought to think about, I’m going to say this harshly just so it saturates in our mind. What if God doesn’t give a rip? About what you want in your result. What if God is more interested about what he wants through you? I mean, if we’re being honest with conflict, that’s what we’re after. But can I. Can I tell you? When it comes to us and our relationship with God. As it affects our relationship with others. God is way more interested in the process than He is the result. You know why? Because God knows if he can get your heart in the moment. He’s in charge of producing the result. Right. When we talk about the ideal of what a family is and what God wants for a family. We’re not saying in declaring the ideal. Now go and make that happen in your family. What we’re saying is that God gives us the ability to make that happen in our family. That’s why I say God doesn’t give a rip about your result. Because when we talk about walking with Jesus, it’s Jesus’s power who works those things within us.
So what God desires for us is to see us flourishing in the sense that in those moments we’re learning to trust in him. Because as you do that, you’re the result of that. And seeing that as fruit that continues to produce the result that God produces, not not what you produce. And I told you in the beginning I started to worry about all the things that I could have. I don’t I don’t know what it meant to to be a godly husband, but I wanted to be it or to raise godly children. But I but I wanted to raise them. And then I started realizing and all of that obsession in my life that that that was not up to me. But what God wants in me is to look at every moment and especially in the conflict, as a platform for him to to make his glory known. God cares. About the result, but it’s not your result he’s interested in. It’s his result. Now there’s there’s passages of scripture that says God will give you the desires of your heart. But the important part of verses like that, it says, as you delight in him, God gives you the desires of your heart. So the the verses in the Bible are telling us this, that, that, that God cares where you’re at and God cares about what you’re thinking and God cares about your needs. He cares about all those things, but not because he wants you to live a life of selfishness.
It’s not because he wants you to come to him and just tell him what you want. Like it’s a checklist of to do list. Like he’s a genie to grant you whatever it is that you wish for in this world. It’s because he cares so much about you. He wants to meet you in that need and transform your heart. Because what he wants to give is far greater. I want you to desire. I mean, mom and dad, you would do that with your children? You think about your kids, There’s all these wants that they have in life and you think, you know, if I just follow that path with my kids, they’re going to be like these selfish, self-absorbed individuals. And so I know that they want that, and I know that they think that’s going to make them happy. But but I care about the long term thinking about them developing as an adult. And so I’m not always going to give them what they want. Now I care. I care to hear what they want and I care about what they love. But I also have enough discernment as an adult and the wisdom I’ve walked in this world to recognize that giving them what they want isn’t always what’s best for them. A god cares. God, he cares. But I want to tell you, he’s not interested in the result that you’re interested in.
He’s interested in the result that he wants to produce in you, which is by far greater than anything that you’re going to do in yourself as you let that calling build within you and you release it. The passage goes on and says. You covet, but you cannot get what you want. So you quarrel and fight. I think the unsatisfaction just perpetuates. I get frustrated. I stuff it, I litigate it, I fight for it, I get the temporary satisfaction. And then when I walk away. And the long term, there’s still something missing there. We don’t get what we want. So we continue to quarrel and fight. Not realizing. The entire times. James saying that in our hearts we may think it’s them. But the real reason there’s conflict and quarreling isn’t because of them. It’s because they’re close to you. The entire time you confront them. You think it’s them? But James says, Listen. It needs to start with you. And the game changers is just to begin to recognize as that this cycle that you’re on. Isn’t working. And as a father. And this has happened. I could be at home and my kids go bananas. Right. And most of the time, I mean, I think Utah were pretty good with all the kids around. We can just zone everything out, whatever. But there’s just this one day all of a sudden where they just did something that just got under your skin.
And you run upstairs and you want to approach it. And I didn’t get what I wanted because they’re frustrating me. And so I get angry and frustrated with them just so I could get what I wanted. And so I walked into the room and you let loose. You let loose on what you’re frustrated about to get their behavior back in order. Right? Because I’m in there for behavior modification, because in this moment it’s all about pleasing me because I am frustrated with them. Here’s the reality. I may have got what I wanted temporarily. But the truth is, God didn’t get what he wanted. And the kids weren’t served with what they needed. To figure out how to honor their Lord with their lives. What they really learned is, well, Dad got what he wanted or Mom got what she wanted. Man. Sometimes they can be a jerk, right? I mean, you step in those moments and you modify the behavior. And that’s where I feel like we sell God short. Because what God is interested in isn’t just modifying the behavior. I mean, you could walk away from that moment and consider it successful because it’s modified the behavior. But can I tell you what God wants is far beyond behavior modification. Well, gods after his community. What God God’s after is unity. Well, Gods after is this connection to each other.
I’m not telling you. That doesn’t give you a place to ever go in a room where your kids are. There’s frustration or where there’s conflict. I’m not saying it doesn’t give you a place to approach it. In fact, what I am saying is it does give you a place to approach it, because what God wants to accomplish in there is this unity that blesses one another. And so when you when you walk into the room with with your children, when you think outside of yourself and what God has called you to when you walk into a moment like that, you recognize that whatever’s being done in that in that scenario is causing disunity. And what God’s desire is, is for unity. And so what it gives you the opportunity to do is not only address the need but to reconcile in relationship with each other. And so can I just give you just something simplistic to even think about with your children? This is this is important in the way that you you raise kids, the way that you discipline your kids. And when you study scripture, God makes a sharp distinction between the idea of punishment and the idea of discipline. We talk about the word punishment. Punishment is what you do to give retribution towards someone who’s wronged with no interest of relationship. You you punish them and that’s placed aside.
But discipline, on the other hand. The motivation of discipline. Is always about reconciliation. It is always about community. It is always about restoration. That’s why Jesus says in the Bible that God disciplines those He loves. Right? So whatever the need is, whenever there’s a tension when it comes especially to to children, parents, when you approach them, you’re not going after them to modify their behavior to get what you want in a fury, because that’s going to teach your children distance from you, but rather you’re approaching your children because of what the Lord would desire within the family and community and unity. And here’s what’s important when you discipline. The back end of that. Is always about restoration and love. When I learned this in Scripture, this is something I started to practice in my life, is that when I discipline my kids. I don’t want them to see a distance between us because discipline is about reconciliation. So I always go back to them. And I get down on their level. And I remind them. That’s here to discipline. Because I love you, right? I love you guys. I want the best for you. I want the best for us. I don’t ever want to come into this room with my will, but I want to come into this room with. With God’s will. I want to come into your life with God’s will. Not because I want to be distant from you, not because I want to punish you, but because I want to use this opportunity to show us how to live like a family.
What James is saying for for success in this passage, to understand understand where your heart’s coming from in conflict. But understand that’s contrary to God’s and understand this. He says this at the end of the verse you do not have because you do not ask God. He’s saying to us, God has a different plan. In fact, if you read James chapter four and verse three, the way he goes on, he says this When you pray and you ask God, you do not receive because you ask according to your will. Not according to his. What James is saying here is because there’s a different will at work beyond yours. And the way to begin to handle relationships is to allow that will to take priority over your desire. What can I be honest with this passage? I know I’m not perfect, right? I mean, it doesn’t take long to go back in my life to know there was places where my heart was feeling exactly what James is saying. And your relationships. I know you’ve been there, too. Can I tell you to model Jesus in that? One of the best things. One is to look at this passage of scripture, but two is to go before your family and your failures and just say.
This is where I blow it. I’m sorry, but this is my goal. My goal is to live what this passage of Scripture says. And for me, one of the passages that means so much to me in the Bible as it relates to my failures is Psalm 51. Like if you look at this, this James chapter four for just a moment, you’re like, man, I man, I am. The failure of failure is at this. Can I tell you? God forgives. God is all about forgiveness. I mean, God’s desire is to forgive because what God desires is relationship with you. And as you understand that God wants to reflect that in the way that you live your relationships with others. God, God forgives and God loves you. He Loves You. And David in Psalm 51, I think really reflects that. And David, in Psalm 51, I’m not going to tell you what he did, but he committed a sin. And it was on the scale of large, you would probably say this is probably one of the doozies in scripture. And he writes Psalm 51 as a reflection of this. And here’s the crazy thing about Psalm 51. Do you know in this psalm he never says what his sin is? He never specifically names what it is. And this is why is because David knows ultimately, even though he sinned. The greatest sin. Was that he stopped acknowledging the beauty of the way God wanted to work in his life.
Like in James chapter four. That’s what he’s saying, you know. You know, you may get upset, you may get angry, but that’s just that’s just the external There’s something deeper taking place there. And it really has to do with you and Jesus. Whose, Lord? Is it more important that you get what you want? At the sake of the family. What can I tell you? According to James, if you really go after what you want, in the end, you’re not going to find yourself happy. But if you go after what Jesus wants. And you pour into your family the way that God desires for your family to learn to serve and care for one another. Your family will want to honor you. Because you’ve honored them. You’ve taught what you want your family to emulate. David knows that. He never names. He doesn’t name his specific sin because he knows ultimately it was a battle between he and the Lord. And this is what he says. This is peppered throughout the Psalm against you. You only have I sinned and done What is evil in your sight? Create in me a pure heart, o God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. Let me read this for us.
James for. What causes fights and quarrels among you? And do they not come from your desires that battle within you? You desire, but do not have. And so you’re killing. You covet but cannot get what you want. And so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. This. Passage of scripture. And to me, it’s a heavy hitter. And this morning, maybe. Maybe you’ve walked a boat of struggling in this. I can’t tell you the result of this when we leave this morning. Don’t fight over a passage. It talks about fighting. What God needs is grace. Your grace. Extend it towards one another. To give the opportunity to now say, you know what? We failed. And maybe maybe this is going to take us some time to figure out how to do this in a family because we’ve had a pattern that’s different than this. But now this morning, we see what the goal is and we can address it and we can learn to work through this, by God’s grace, holding each other accountable to to what God wants to do because it’s far greater than what I want. Because when I drive after what I want, I may modify the behavior, but I’m never going to reach the heart and what Jesus wants to do. It’s far greater.