Auto Generated Transcript
If you got a Bible with you, I’m going to invite you to turn to Genesis chapter one. We’re going to get a background to the idea of what marriage is about. And here’s what, here’s what we’re going to do in the coming weeks. Uh, we’re going to talk about five commitments to the marriage covenant that really helps create what God desires for marriage. And when we talk about five commandments, I know the hesitation of some people. When you come to church, we talk about relationship, not religion, and you start talking about commitment. And people think, well, that sounds religious. I don’t want to be a part of that. But I would say to that for this series, I’m going to say tough. And the reason is, is this when you got married, if you are married or you’re looking to be married when you stood before whatever term you want to use, I would say the altar, because I want to acknowledge that that God is present in in marriage. When we go through that ceremony, you likely gave some, some sort of commitment to your spouse, right? To have and to hold from this day forward till till death do us part, for richer, for poorer, for for better or for worse. And in that statement, you you made a commitment. And the way that relationships work is that if if you’re not striving to draw closer in that relationship, then naturally they drift apart.
I mean, that works in everything in life. Uh, time and distance make a relationship that feels whole become become a relationship that feels like just two people. And you think even even in your relationship with the Lord, if you’re not drawing closer to him, you’re drawing further from him. And so there is a desire within our hearts, the commitment that we have to Christ to want to know him and grow closer to him, to pursue him, that we may know him. And and marriage is is the same. God has this idea that he sets for us and what marriage is about. And if you’re a lady here this morning, you start thinking and talking in terms of marriage. Uh, ladies tend to dream about marriage, or at least their wedding day, right? And you think of young girls, they they picture the perfect house. Some some ladies even start naming their kids before they ever meet their husband. Right? You show up and you tell them, no, these are kids names. Now you just do you deal with that? I’ve had this in my mind for 20 years. Men, on the other hand, they they tend to think more about the honeymoon. Right? How do we keep that going? And and what we tend to find out is you plan, you dream. And we romanticize the idea of marriage. But when we get into marriage, we find that sometimes it doesn’t meet our expectations.
And we get upset. We get hurt, we we get angry. We want to give up. Some of us feel like and wonder if it’s even possible to have a good marriage. And I just want to say this morning that I believe because God created marriage, that it is possible to have a good marriage. I think it’s even possible to have a great marriage. And so what we want to do this morning is to give us some tools, whether you’re single, ready to mingle or or you’re you’ve been married. The thought is, if you’re single and you know that marriage is in your future or you’re looking towards that, what are some, some tools that could help you as you plan for that in your life? And if and if you’re married, what what are some things that we can continue to build upon that we can experience what God desires for that. So I think a good marriage is is possible because God created marriage and he created it for that purpose. Um, but I want to be honest in saying I don’t think good marriages are probable if if we live out the married life the way that our American society teaches us, uh, statistics tell us that for anyone that’s married, you’ve got a 5050 shot at your marriage being a success. And I don’t know about you, but if if the statistics in anything in my life was a 5050 shot, I.
And it was a negative response, I don’t know that I would participate in that meaning if I had a 5050 shot of going to the mall today and getting mugged, I will I will not be going to the mall today. Or if I have a a 5050 shot of getting in my car and getting in a wreck. Anywhere I go that day, I’m going to be walking, right? Or if just something I know that negative is going to happen to me and it’s a 5050 toss up in the air, I, I don’t see myself participating in that. And the way that our society teaches about marriage today. I think there are some principles that are are so unhealthy to us that it naturally produces unhealthy results. You think about even in our society today, if a young person wants to get their driver’s license, I mean, in order to do that, that’s a pretty big decision. You’re given your teen you as parents who have teenagers, you go through this emotionally. I’m putting my kid behind that piece of steel going that fast, right. How do you how do you deal with that? But, you know, before we put them behind the road, I mean, we have certain requirements to make sure they’re prepared for that, right? They take tests and. Well, other than me, just a tidbit. When I was a kid, I was in I was in Alabama in high school, and I moved to West Virginia, and I took my learner’s in Alabama.
When I got to West Virginia, apparently I didn’t know what a learner’s was, so I never had to take my driving test. They just gave me a regular license. So so I don’t know how they qualified that. They just said, he’s got all his teeth. That’s good for West Virginia. Come on, come on. Right. Like, I don’t know what’s up with that. So other than me to get your driving permit or license, you have to take a test. But when it comes to to marriage, you just got to show up to the courthouse with 15 bucks, right? I mean, but but you think about the significance of that decision. And what kind of preparation we might give to young people for that. Or as an adult going into marriage, the preparation that you’ve had leading to those that moment and the rest of your life. Were you ready? It’s important as we look at these commandments together. What I desire to do is just build for us a biblical basis for what God says about marriage. And then we’ll talk about those commandments that enhance that relationship in the Lord. And so the Bible starts with us in Genesis chapter two. This is where we’ll begin. We won’t actually we’ll reference verse one in just chapter one and verse a few verses in a minute. But God creates humanity, and when he creates humanity, he then creates man and woman.
It says in Genesis 222 and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made it into a woman and brought her to the man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. I bring up this verse just to give this one one remark to us, and that is this God created marriage. It’s not something that we’ve invented as people, but something God has desired. And so it’s important for us to recognize that, because if if you desire to get from your marriage what God desires for marriage, then the thought within our mind should be, we should look to God for the answers for what marriage is about. God created marriage. The second thought in these passages come here in Genesis one and Genesis two and Genesis 128 he said this. God said to them, talking about Adam and Eve, be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion, it should say, over it. And for some reason it says, Genesis again, have have dominion over it. And then chapter two and verse 18 it says, As God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. So God created the man first, and then he created woman. God creates marriage and the purpose that he creates marriage.
We find in 218 it’s not good to be alone, but God rather created it. That marriage would be a blessing. And in demonstrating that blessing, he creates two genders that complement one another in gender giftedness that they can work together in what God has called them to do in that marriage relationship. And it says this, that we would be fruitful and multiply that that your marriage would not only be a gift to you, but your marriage would be a gift to the world. Learning what it means to be a godly man and woman becomes important to understanding what it means to be in a God given marriage. God creates man. God creates woman. God gives them particular gender giftedness that they complement one another as helpers. That through that relationship, not only are they blessed, but the world is blessed. And so back to 224. I didn’t give you the end of the tail end of this verse, but it tells us in Genesis chapter two and verse 24, and they shall become one flesh. If you think about the beginning of of the verse, it says, for this reason, a husband or a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Meaning as God creates man and God creates woman, he he comes to this point in their creation knowing that he’s designed them both genders for for marriage. And he says, and this is what it’s driving to, that two shall become one.
When we talk about the one, the word one in this passage, what it carries is the idea of of this deep sense of what it means. One, it’s saying in the deepest seed of who you are, the deepest identity, the deepest, the depths of your heart in that place, your relationship. It’s so close that you can’t you can’t tell where one person ends and the other one begins. It’s important, as we think about a verse like this, to to remind ourselves that it is in fact, God who created marriage. You consider what God is saying here? God is saying one plus one equals one. If you try that in math class, you get an F. So what I like to think when I read this passage is that in order for this to happen, it takes an act of God for one plus one to equal one. God needs to be involved in that. But the reality is, is as God has created us in Genesis chapter two and verse 24, to to be one. Marriage doesn’t always work that way. In fact, many of the times you find it to be a struggle. Genesis two, God gives for us the idea of what marriage is about, and the blessing is to to bring. And then in Genesis three, something horrific happens, something devastating to all of all of humankind and all of creation.
And that is the introduction of sin. And what sin is about is, is disunity. Where the Lord unites, sin separates where the Lord is about community. Sin is about individuality, where marriage is about selflessness. Sin is all about self, where the marriage is about what you give. Sin only thinks about what you can get. When a marriage is about we. Sin always thinks about you. And the oneness of marriage when sin entered the world was challenged. Meaning if you’re not pursuing oneness with your spouse because of the sinfulness in the world, you’ll naturally become too. Because of the sin cursed world that we live in. We need to work towards being one with our spouse. In Genesis chapter three, it reads for us the curse that happens upon creation. And you get to verse 16 and it talks about the curse on the wife. And just before this, it talks about painful childbirth. Ladies, you know that, right? You don’t have to give me a verse to know that that’s real. Genesis 316 then it goes on to say this, your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. Meaning it’s describing tension in that relationship. This isn’t a positive thing in this verse. This verse is in the context of all the negative things that’s happened because of sin in this world. And so he’s saying your desire will be to dominate your husband, and your husband is going to be ruling over you.
And and the word desire in this passage is the same desire that Cain had when he killed Abel. It’s a negative desire. Meaning you’re going to go at each other. And so the conclusion of just the thought behind the precedent of Genesis one, two and three says this men and women were created for marriage, but none of us are compatible in marriage because of sin. Meaning there’s going to be tension. God created you for it. It’s intended to be a blessing. We’ve got to recognize that there will be tension because of sin, and it’s important for us to learn how to work through that in that relationship, so we can experience what God desires between you and your spouse. The more you see yourself as an individual in a marriage rather than a team, the further you are from what God desires for your marriage. God desires oneness and sin will always separate you into two. It creates that tension and that bitterness and that frustration, and you start looking down on one another and in your own hurt. Rather than seek to be one, you start attacking your spouse that they can begin to experience the hurt that they’ve brought upon you. God’s desires that we see ourselves as one. In fact, when the apostle Paul wrote about marriage, he did so in Ephesians chapter five and verse 28. He. He explains it this way, that we we should see ourselves as one in marriage.
So much so that if anything happens to your spouse, you feel that pain. And in verse 28, he says it to the guys in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church. Meaning whatever happens to her men, you take that as an offense to yourself. You’re so connected in the deep seed of who you are that her pain is your pain, and her reality becomes your reality because God’s desire for you is to be one. And sin always represents that challenge. And so everything that we share over the weeks ahead will be driving towards that thought. Building oneness in your marriage before the Lord. And so maybe the beginning question we can start asking. Well, ask this for the next four weeks after today is how can my marriage be won in the Lord? When Jesus talks about connecting and relationships, he actually defines for us what it means to be one. He. He does it in the theme verse that we use here as a church family when we establish ourselves. And in Matthew 22, Jesus is asked, what’s the greatest command? And and Jesus said to the man who asked, you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, and with all of your mind.
This is the great and first commandment, and a second is like it you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Meaning. When Jesus talks about oneness, he mentions specific things here. But what he’s saying in essence is there is no part hidden from me. When you talk about your relationship with me, it’s not just something you do Sunday, but it’s something you experience with me every day. You don’t withhold anything from me, and I’m not withholding myself from you. We we give ourselves to each other. And so when I talk about loving me, when you think about giving yourself away, it’s with all of your heart and your soul and your mind. In some passages you even say strength. Everything that you are seeks to be one. And then he goes on and explains, and as you understand that, do that in relationships. What can I tell you is you consider this verse the only reason that we’re able to connect to the Lord with all of our heart and with all of our soul, and with all of our mind and all of our strength, is because. We’re connected to the Lords spiritually. Meaning the Bible tells us when sin happens. We were dead in sin and Ephesians two one and that Christ brings us to life just as Christ came back to life in the resurrection. Christ brings us spiritual life through him, and it’s only because of that spiritual life that we’re able to understand the depths of who we are and communicate that with the Lord in relationship.
And I would submit to you. And that works in every relationship in this world. It’s when you understand who you are and who, in light of who God is that you really, truly begin to understand who your identity is or what your identity is in this world because of Christ, in that identity in Christ begins to shape your relationships, and most importantly, it shapes your marriage relationship. And so it’s when we come to the Lord and we learn to love him with all that we are our heart, soul, mind, strength. That we then learn how to love others the way that God has created us to love the world defines love is a pretty selfish, self-centered, self fulfilling thing. God defines love as one that gives itself away abundantly. Love really doesn’t think of self. First Corinthians 13 talks about, but love gives itself away. When you go to the marriage relationship and you use the term love and reality when when the husband gives himself fully to his wife and the wife gives herself fully to to the husband, that oneness is created because each of you is caring for the other ones need. And then that oneness. You see any offense to your wife as something that’s offending you as well. And so you’re seeking to to bring that reconciliation and oneness together.
And so the thought that we carry is this. Seek the one above. Excuse me. Seek the one above you to unite with the one beside you. And so if you’re here this morning, you’re thinking, okay, why I’m not married. So thank you for none of this. That helps yet. Um, how how does this how does this work for me? I would say an encouragement to you. Learn to give yourself to the one before you give yourself to someone. God wants you to be one with your future spouse and not be one with everyone until you meet your spouse. Prepare yourself to be the person that God wants you to be, so that when you marry your spouse, you’ll be ready to walk as one. Uh, Matthew 633 this week. I’ll tell you why it’s contextualized in a minute, but Jesus has given the sermon on the Mount, and he says this. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. In this passage, Jesus is preaching what his kingdom’s going to look like and and what his kingdom is. And he says, seek it first. Seek me first in the kingdom and what I’m about. Seek all those things first and and the context of what he’s talking about. In Matthew 5 to 7, those things will be added to you, which which includes relationship and marriage, relationship and and living life.
God, as you seek those things, builds you up in the identity that he desires to work harmoniously in relationships in this world. When you make God first. He prepares you for what he has in store. And if he created you. To be married. God works within you and that relationship. We ask as a single person, well, how do you know that someone’s the one if you don’t give yourself away to someone? How, how how do you know that someone is the one? And I would say this to singleness this morning if, um, if you’re looking for someone to be specifically compatible to you, there isn’t a person in the world that is compatible with someone else. And this is why we’re sinful. We are sinful. At some point we will not be compatible, right? We will. We will argue. There will be tension. You will think you’re right and I am. There is not someone who is completely compatible. But this is what you look for. You look at their character. You look for the fruit of the spirit. Does he love the Lord? Ladies, you could ask, is he a man? Does he provide? How does he treat his mother? What kind of respect does he show? Is he a hard worker? Does he stay true to the things he commits to? Does he seek God because of you? Or does he seek God because he loves the Lord? Does he do justice or does he break justice? Is he merciful? Is he? Is he merciless? Does he walk humbly or is he arrogant? And I would encourage you to do this.
If you’re young, ask your mom and dad. I know that you don’t think the right. But if your parents especially are striving in this together, they know what it takes. And they know what they’re talking about. For young guys, I would say this look for the fruit of the spirit in her. Watch her. Does she handle herself graciously? What does her heart reveal about her? Does she love the Lord? Does she display what you want in a wife or a mother as she selfish? Or is she selfless? Does she want to serve or to be served? Does she respect her parents or does she disrespect them? Let God work on you in the character that he desires to build in your relationship and look for the fruit of the spirit and the one that you desire to marry, or as you’re looking for someone to marry, had a great conversation with a college guy. We have missions teams that come out all the time, and when they leave, they keep calling me like we have teenagers and college kids especially. And so there’s this one college kid that calls me. I hope he doesn’t listen to this, but he calls. He calls me and he says he wants me to know that he was dating this girl, that she he thought she was a godly girl.
And she was. And and he says, you know, I just want you to know it didn’t work out. Um, and, and we’re okay with that. And and so I said, well, why? And his response was this. I didn’t give myself away to her. Right. And I think, well, that’s great, man. You you guys didn’t jump in bed together. That’s wonderful. He goes, no no, no no, no. You’ve even gone too far in that thought. What I mean is when I, when I marry my future bride, I want to be able to give all that I am to her. My my heart, my mind, my soul, my body, my strength. I want everything to be her first. So. So not only did I not give myself to her physically, but I refused to give myself to her emotionally. I refuse to connect to her spiritually. I’m saving that for my spouse. How do you do that today? He said. Well, it’s tricky, you think, but. But we went out together and we said this. We were interested in each other, and we knew that both both of us loved the Lord. I dropped all that. We love the Lord. And so what we did is we just spent time together and in groups, and I just watched how she carried herself, and she watched how I carried myself.
And our conclusion was we thought we would be great for someone in the future, but not for each other. And so without the emotional baggage, we’re able just to let go. I thought, that’s great advice, man. You think about the way that we just beat ourselves up and what we teach about relationships today. By the time if you meet someone to marry, how much emotional baggage you might carry, because we tend to think of giving ourselves away physically, but but rarely think about the way that we do it emotionally and spiritually and what God desires us for that oneness. That oneness with your spouse. For those who are married. How can we be one? And I approach this this morning thinking, you know, we are in all kinds of places. Um, in relationships of marriage. You think about your spouse. It tends to be one spouse might be spiritually stronger than another. How? How when God created us to be one with him and carry that oneness into our marriage, how do we even do that? How can we be one and think about the commitment to to your spouse to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, sickness and health, forsaking all others, being faithful to you as long as we both shall live. So, so help me God. How do you do that? Let’s say you need the Lord to live out that commitment.
You need the Lord to keep you from separating into two, but to strive to be one. You know, for us, we we face all kinds of problems in society. And we think about the oneness that God desires in our relationship. Uh, we we come to marriage seeking a spouse many times not, and not seeking the Lord first. And we seek the spouse thinking in our heads that that the spouse is the one that’s going to make me happy or or fulfill all of our needs. And if he’s broken before we get into it, it’s okay, I’ll fix it. I’ll fix him. I have time, right. I’m going to tell you, you can’t fix your spouse, that there’s a proverb that says this, uh, a nagging sorry wife’s a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet. Or there’s another one that says it’s better to live on the roof of your home than in the home with a nagging wife. And I would say this. The lady would say she’s just trying to fix him and it doesn’t work. Praying for them. Does. But nagging them doesn’t. How do we be one? Well, if you idolize someone in your life as to be your satisfaction as if they were your God, they will be the one that can completes you. One of two things happens. You either idolize them wrongly, which which is wrong, or you. You demonize them. Meaning? Meaning you. You think about them in ways that you should think about the Lord.
And then when they fail at doing what you think they should do, then they’re just the worst lowlife sitting on the couch like a log, doing nothing. And so when you put them in that position, you elevate them to a place of failure. So how do we be one? And so my encouragement as we think about just the there’s lots of things that you could do in a relationship to seek oneness, especially when you talk about spiritually. And there’s opportunities that God’s created us. As for for couples to to grow. But the most important thing. It’s to create momentum to be one. Meaning do something. Natural tendency in our lives is to become to. Natural tendency without working on the relationship is that that relationship will work on you. And if you do nothing, then you will divide. But it’s important to create momentum to be one. And spiritually speaking, we can do this by reading God’s Word or praying together or serving together, creating spiritual traditions as a family together, like Easter last week. If there’s something special your family does, attending community groups together, becoming a team on the way that you lead your family together, having dinner together, serving in the community some way together. Create. Creating momentum is important, but thinking about walking out of here this morning, I don’t just want to give you a list of things that you should do, and I don’t want to create those things to be just this religious checklist that if you check them, then it works in your relationship.
I want to give us just one target to hit that creates momentum. And you think about in Second Chronicles chapter seven and verse 14, I’ll give you the backdrop to this. So we don’t say theologically, take this out of context, but God’s talking to the nation of Israel. The nation of of Israel lives under this promise, under the mosaic covenant, that if they obey God, then they’re blessed. And if they disobey God, they’re not. And in Second Chronicles, God’s reminding them of that, that you need to seek me so that you’re blessed. And so you could specifically address this to the nation. And I’ll tell you how spiritual we can address it to ourselves in just a minute. But let me read it. If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Got in this passage of Scripture. Talks about the idea of prayer as the way of healing their family. As a way of healing their country, as a way of healing their relationship with the Lord. God’s telling the nation of Israel, this will bless them. But I’ll tell you this morning, it will do the same for you.
God created prayer that we could connect to him. God desires to build his will in your life, his image in you. And when you connect to him, it gives him the opportunity to do that. As a nation. When they do that, it gives them the opportunity together to do that as a family. When you do that, it gives you the opportunity as a family for the law to allow the God to build that identity in you as a married couple. When you do that, it gives God the opportunity to build his identity in you together as one. God comes to this passage of a nation that’s divided, divided from him, and splintered from each other. His solution to the oneness is just to seek his face. To begin to pray. Family life did a survey not too long ago out of 1000 couples they interviewed, and there were Christian couples. And out of the 1000 Christian couples that they interviewed, they they found that few fewer than 8% of those families pray regularly. So out of 1000 was that 80 people, fewer than 8% of them pray regularly. But of those that pray regularly, fewer than 1% of them have been have had a divorce. Prayer. In that family and those families brought oneness with them. I got to tell you, when I when I think about the idea of this verse and God using what he can to bring oneness in my family, I was not raised in an openly spiritual home, meaning people would have claimed to in my home to to love Jesus.
If you ask them, do you love Jesus? They would have said yes and then that was it, you know. So there was no living. There was no living for the Lord outside and seeking unity in Christ together. And so when, when I got married, the idea of bringing Jesus into my home to create that oneness wasn’t, wasn’t something that came naturally for me. But one of the things that for my family we started doing is we started praying together. And one of the things I discovered in our prayers that my wife and I draw closer together. And can I tell you just just some thoughts of why prayer works? When prayer is done naturally, it it creates intimacy. It’s hard not to pray with someone and not hear what’s on their heart. Guys, I think more than anyone, if there’s ever a person in a marriage relationship, that’s hard to know what’s going on in the inside, right? It’s not your wife, but you. I can think my my, I grew up in. My last name is wall and in the wall family. We don’t. We don’t talk about our emotions. Matter of fact, we don’t even show them. We do best. We operate as statues. And so to even think about prayer and being intimate and having to talk about things in your heart before you pray before the Lord is a big step.
But it’s an important step to for intimacy. See, it reveals your heart. And I can think. As a young boy, I was five years old and my grandfather was a man of faith, and he loved the Lord. And I remember I went to his house to visit, and my grandmother is on the phone and I’m standing there beside him because I’m waiting to go do something with my grandpa. And my grandma gets up off the phone. She looks upset. She turns and mentions the thing that’s upsetting to my grandpa, and my grandpa goes outside. He’s a wall. We don’t do emotions and he goes outside and. For the first time in my life, I saw the realness of prayer. Because my grandpa, in that moment, he walks away from everyone and he falls to his knees. I just see tears stream down his eyes. And he just lifts his heart before God. You think about the idea of praying with your spouse? And if that seems hard to. Maybe it’s the awkwardness that you need to get over. Maybe it’s hard because there’s tension in that relationship. I think. What? What more healing could it be? And to get with the one who created marriage. And they get with the one who you’re having tension with. And to talk about that struggle and to lift it up before the Lord.
Marriage brings us or excuse me? Prayer brings us to a place of humbleness. It brings us to a place of intimacy. It brings us to a place of right focus. It gets off of self. It shows families where the priorities lie. It reminds us about community rather than individuality. It brings you closer over time. Yeah, it might be awkward. But maybe the point is, let it be weird. Your family needs to see you struggle over something valuable as much as they see you successful in it. The importance of that for the family builds oneness. I love the way it started for Stacy and I when we brought it in with our kids. Grayson’s three. He’s finally gotten old enough to to pray. And so we have a meal together. And it’s funny because sometimes I want to go to the couch to watch the game, but he loves the table now, so he’ll pull me. He’ll pull me in. That’s a confession. I’m sorry, but we’ll go into the table and we’ll pray. And so we’ll go around the table. We’ll just ask something about prayer. What are we going to pray about? And then we’ll bow our heads to pray. And so we’ve never taught this kid how to pray, but he just starts praying out loud. He just since we talked about it, he thinks everyone gets to jump in. And so we all just start hashing it out loud.
And so I listen. Last night we were praying again, and I got to listen to the things that he prayed for. And so, you know, we’ve talked over time just people that are sick people and that needs help. He knows every Saturday night we pray for church. And so last night, without mentioning it, prays for our church family. God, I want to have fun with my friends tomorrow. He prays that his grandma will give him a present next time he sees her. And he prays for Elijah, a young boy that we know that’s been out. His family’s been out here a couple of times from Florida. He just got diagnosed with leukemia and we prayed for him, but I didn’t even tell him to pray for him. Just prayer time came and he just started praying. And, you know, as good as a dad. He prays a lot. I can’t even hear my own prayer sometimes. But but I got to hear what was on my son’s heart. I don’t know what he’s what he’s thinking about. I feel closer to him in that. I mean, it helps me see his health spiritually. God, what’s God doing in your son? I mean, he’s holding things close to him that other than the selfish prayer for present he’s holding. And that’s important for a kid, too, so who cares? But he’s holding. He’s holding those things close to him, and God’s using that.
So let me let me tell you this. If you’re thinking about building oneness in your relationship, you don’t have to take prayer. You need to. You need to do something. You’ve got to create momentum in that. And I know for some families, depending on where we are spiritually, prayer can be a nonthreatening thing to do that. And so let me encourage you, if you try or attempt to think about using prayer, just start with two questions when you get together. Uh, prayer for us can oftentimes be something where we treat God like a pinata and we just beat up and we tell them things that we want. And in that way, prayer becomes draining. Sometimes I’ll tell God all your problems, and I don’t even talk about all my problems all the time. But here’s, here’s, here’s here’s what’s good. Start with this. What’s something you’re thankful for? I mean, you get to communicate with your family about that, to hear what they’re appreciating in life, and then bring it before the Lord to thank them. What’s something you’re thankful for? And then this. What’s something that’s got your heart anxious? What’s something that’s troubling you? Let’s open up about that. Let’s hear what’s weighing on your heart. So as a spouse, I can think about that later. Later, when we’re separated from each other, I’m at my work day. I can text you and let you know. Honey, I’m still praying for you in that need.
I am one with you in this. What’s something you’re thankful for? What’s something that’s got your heart anxious and then pray about it. You might end up praying with your three year old about toys, but who cares? It’s important to create momentum. So the thought is this. Create momentum to be one. God wants you to be one. God created marriage to be a blessing. If you’re not working on it, it will work on you. Sin will pull it apart. God is the one that brings it together. He shows us what oneness is with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. There is no secret that separates. But you’re united together, so deep in the recesses of your heart that you can’t tell where one spouse ends and the other one begins. And when one of you are offended, both of you are offended because you are connected to each other. And when one of you rejoices, both of you rejoice in that because you are one in him. God made you who made your spirit your spouse? God made marriage God’s desire for that as one. B1. And so what I’m asking, I guess, is of our church this morning, is this. It is a place of intimacy to grab the hands of your spouse. And the looker in the eyes. Sort of look him in the eyes. And say, honey, is there anything you’re thankful for? Is there anything your heart is anxious over?