How do I man up?

We're in a new series together. It's a short series we're going to be talking about manning up and for your for you ladies, we can talk about warming up. If you've got your bulletin this morning, you should have found in there a card that says man up in it. If you don't have any of those, they should be on the entry table as well. And it says man up on it. ladies, if you want, you can write the wo at the beginning and then it can be wo man up for you as well. And then it would make more sense, right. Great story about Manning up for you. When I first got married season, I got this incredible dog. And the way that we found it was my mom got online and we were going to move across the country. Stacy's mom had just passed away. We were dealing with some loss there. My mom wanted to get us a dog because she knew that would bring us some comfort and moving. And so I think she got on internet and googled most neediest dog alive and then whatever came up, that's what we ended up with. And to just the greatest blessing ever. It was a four pound Yorkie. You know, you think if you talk about manly, the first thing that comes to your mind has got to be a four pound Yorkie, right? And I'm thinking, as a husband, right? I'm going to take care of this dog.

It'd be great for my wife. She can have this move across the country. We've got this wonderful animal to enjoy the journey with us. We get out to Utah and then I begin to notice something that this dog required walks. And my wife liked to dress it up. And so here I am in our new neighborhood with four pound dog and a cute little sweater with a bow, thinking about, as a young man just being married, you want to just puff out your chest and walk around. But here I am with this little dog and the only thing you have to offer when all the other neighbors are walking their dogs are, oh my gosh, run, jump in my, my dog can't fight that battle. Get away, get away. And you just cuddle your little four pound dog until the big dog passes by. That is not manning up. And there's something about being a man that you have the desire to want to engage in the battle, right? You want the biggest dog in the fight. There's something about having a Yorkie that sometimes robs you of that. You want to prove to what you're to yourself and to others. I got in the fight and I've got what it takes. Every man enjoys a battle, whether it's in video games, to the deer stand, to spiritual warfare.

Men like engaging in the battle. Maybe that's why football is such a popular sport in America. To prove to ourselves that we have what it takes. As a matter of fact, when you read in the Bible at the beginning of creation, you'll notice that when God creates the Garden of Eden, he creates man outside of the garden and then places him in the garden. You were created as a roamer and a and a warrior. There is something in the man's heart that wants to be a warrior, to embrace who God wants you to be as godly men, and even to pass that on. And in America, the influence of the father is undeniable. Listen to these statistics. Kids that grow up in a home without a father are 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide, or 10.8 times more likely to commit rape, 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while they're still a teenager. 7,073% who murdered grew up in a home without a dad. Daughters who later grew up to get married experienced 90% of them experienced divorce. To those who didn't grow up in a home without a father. And those are just the negative things that could take place without having the presence of a father's influence in a home. It doesn't have to be that way, but there is significance to having a fatherly influence in the life of a child.

Being a godly dad, though, is more than encouraging your kid to do from behaving poorly. Being a dad is more than just not teaching your kids what they shouldn't do. It's also including to teach your child what they should become as well. It's to reassure your child of unconditional love. It's about giving godly advice and molding young people with a godly mind to grow up and become adults and reproduce that in their future families as well. I guess what I'm saying is, being a godly father isn't about who can burp the loudest fart. The stinkiest neat the most, you know what I mean? There's more to being a dad than something as shallow as that. Joshua wrote about it in chapter 24 and verse 15, the closing chapter of the book of Joshua says, if it is disagreeable in sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourself today whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served, which were beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites in those lands you are living. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. At the end of the Joshua's life, as the nation of Israel separated and dispersed throughout the land of Israel, he gave this man up statement to the children of Israel. Be conscious about the decision you're making and the path that you want to choose, and influence your family in that direction.

And as for me and my house, we're manning up and we're choosing to serve God. Paul gave it a similar verse, but it came in sort of the opposite scenario. He talked about the immaturity of a believer, and he said, I gave you milk to drink, not solid food, for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not able to receive it. First Corinthians 13. He goes on to say, when I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child. When I became a man, I did away with childish things. Last week we gave this comparison. You know, I've got a young kid right now who still needs diapers changed and bottles fed and all that bedtime and whatnot. How gross would it be? 30 years old. I'm still walking behind Greyson, changing his diaper and feeding him a bottle. When it's young and they're immature. It's cute. When you get old, it sort of gets this picture of being disgusting. And God is describing the life of the believer, saying to ourselves that God has done so much more in your life than simply give you a get out of hell free card. He's got this desire to learn and grow, and want to place his influence and his image upon you as you mature in your relationship with him.

And the calling of both the Old and New Testament of the Bible is for us as individuals, to man up and become the man or woman that God desires for us to be. This week, I want to talk about five more areas of our lives as men and even as ladies, that we can challenge ourselves to grow up in our relationship with God and become the influencers that God has called us to. The next weeks ahead of that, we're going to talk about parenting and the marriage relationship. The question we're going to ask today is how do we man up according to what Scripture says? First, I would share with you this morning that what God has called you to do is to see yourself the way that God sees you. See yourself the way that God sees you. When you read the Book of Judges, you'll find that the story of the Book of Judges, about these seven judges that God has selected to lead the nation of Israel out of injustice and closer to him, the nation of Israel had this tendency in the book of judges where they would fall into sin. They would. God would raise up a nation to bring judgment against the nation of Israel. The nation of Israel would then turn back to God, asking them for salvation from the situation. And then God would raise up a judge to rescue them.

And every time God raised up a judge, you got this idea in your head that this was a mighty warrior, capable of meeting the battle that was at hand to remove the nation that was bringing judgment upon the nation of Israel. Except when you get to judges chapter six, you get introduced to this type of judge or this ruler for Israel. That doesn't seem to be quite so valiant when you read in chapter six and verse 11, when it first introduces you to this individual. His name's Gideon. It says, then the angel of the Lord came and sat under the oak that was in Oprah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, as his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the wine press in order to save it from the Midianites. And so it kind of gives this idea that Gideon is inside of this giant hole in the ground. He would normally be up on the threshing floor, beating out his wheat and his food for his family, but instead he's jumped into this hole because he's a little scared individual and he's beating out of his wheat, and he's trying to stay hidden from these Midianites who at any moment could run into the town and steal his goods. And you're thinking when you read this passage of Scripture, I've got to say, I would be a lot like Gideon right at any moment.

These Midianites, these warriors, these bandits, can come into my house and begin to pillage my home and take whatever it is they wanted. I would probably be in the same place, but at the same time, you recognize this is the book of judges and warriors. Come out of the book of judges. And so you see all the other judges that God has raised up. And you say to yourself, Gideon is a sissy. What is wrong with this man? All these other people, like, picked up donkey jaws and killed 300 people with that. And Gideon, here he is hiding in a hole saying, please don't give me. Please don't get me. What a sissy! But then you read in verse 12, the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, the Lord is with you all, valiant warrior. And you think in your head what? What is God talking about? Here we have a cowardly man hiding in a hole. And God says to him before he's done anything, you are a valiant warrior. How in the world can call? God calls such a cowardly individual a valiant warrior? Gideon is the individual that would look in the mirror and say, I know I shouldn't, but I can't, or I would like to be, but I'm not. But by the end of the story, when you read the rest of judges and The Life of Gideon, you see that Gideon became a mighty warrior for the Lord.

In fact, he took an army of just 300 people and defeated an entire other nation. Gideon was a warrior for God, meaning to us as people. When God looks at you and when God calls you to a task in this world, he's not seeing what you can't do in yourself. He's saying what you could do through his power, working in you and through you. God sees you as everything that you are in him. How do we become an individual that mans up? We see ourselves the way God sees us. I'm afraid that some of us in this world, when God calls us to a task, we walk around more like caged lions than the beasts of the African plains. And in a glorious thing, if you ever get to watch National Geographic, to see that line roaming that plane, dominating that area like he's the king of the jungle. Do lions live in jungles? But he roams and he roars. And he sticks his chest out with pride. Because he knows he dominates that place. The Bible tells us through Jesus, greater is he that is in you than he who is in the world. You ever take that same lion out of that jungle and you put them in a zoo, and you watched them as a caged animal, and that ferocious look that he had upon his face seems to fade away, and he sort of walks around his box as if it's his domain.

But he never can grasp the magnitude of what he used to have when he roared the plains or across the African plains. So that's the difference between seeing ourselves the way that we want to see ourselves, and seeing ourselves the way that God has created us to see ourselves. The Bible tells us that Jesus was the lion of the tribe of Judah, and that Jesus has created you to bear his image. And we tend to walk around like caged animals rather than lions from the tribe of Judah, imaging the nature of Christ in our lives. And the result of that is fatherless children and lonely wives and broken homes. And when we neglect our responsibility, it becomes someone else's burden to carry. We don't see ourselves the way that God sees us. We start saying things like do I matter or do I have what it takes? I believe that everyone in this world, when we determine that answer, we really base our value as people in one of three ways. The first is we base our value in what we do. This type of value creates a performance slave. This person is always trying to convince you of how great they are through the achievements in which they've accomplished in this world. But in the end, these people tend to be insecure, defensive, and can't take much criticism.

They're always trying to meet someone's standard of approval, and what they become is approval addicts and themselves through what they do. Second way we tend to get our value upon us is through what's been done to me. We become victims of particular scenarios, and rather than feel free, we feel owned. Oftentimes, it leads to a tendency of feeling that we as people are entitled to certain things because things have been done against us or harmed us or brought negative response to us. And we wrap all of our value up in what's been done to us as people. The tendency becomes that when we allow our value to be placed upon ourselves through what's been done to us, we often become negative people. In fact, it can lead to a complaining type attitude. If you ever want to find out what's wrong with the world or a particular situation, find the individual who feels like a victim and they always have an opinion to share with you about something that's going wrong with something inside an individual who finds their worth based on what's been done to them, often lead to life of guilt and shame. The third way that we receive our value is through what's been done for you. And this is the place in our lives where we look to Jesus. Because when we look at what Jesus has done for us, and the fact that Jesus has come to this world, and the fact that Jesus, God of this world, has come in earthly flesh and he's laid down his life for you, adds infinite worth to who you are as a human being based on what's been done for me.

We see ourselves as valuable in the eyes of God. When God sees you as a king and chooses you as his child, as you place your faith in him, it gives you incredible worth. You become what God has called you to be and you are secure. You never have to fear rejection because if God is for you, it doesn't matter who's against you. You never have to feel guilt or shame because Jesus took it away on the cross. You don't have to perform because God accepts you the way that he made you. You don't have to earn his approval because God has already given you his approval. You don't have to feel entitled because you didn't do anything to earn him. And by his wounds you are healed. The key to becoming what God desires for you to be is to see yourself the way that God has created you for who you are. Second is this you have to be willing to break the sin cycle. It says in Exodus 34 and verse five, the Lord descended in the cloud and stood there with him, as he called upon the name of the Lord.

Then the Lord passed by in front of him, proclaimed the Lord, the Lord your God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding, and loving kindness and truth, who keeps loving kindness for those who forgives iniquity, transgressions, and transgressions, and sin. Yet he will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generation. Point is this sin affects more than just yourself. Rejecting God in your life and the desire that God has for your life affects more than just you. In fact, it tells you in this passage of Scripture through our disobedience to God, through the choosing of sin in front of God, not only does it affect me, but it can affect on to the third and fourth generations, affect your grandchildren and your great grandchildren. Maybe when we read this passage of Scripture, some of us understand exactly what it's talking about, because we've seen the effects of sin in our family and how it's had an effect on our own lives. Maybe you've had a father who's continued to mention to you. Well, when I was your age, I could do that. Why can't you? Or maybe you lived in a home where dad was just silent and he never engaged you. Or maybe you were facing a critical moment in your life where what you were looking for was some encouragement, but all you received was criticism.

Even Jesus himself got the affirmation from the father when it says in Matthew 317, you are my beloved son, and I am well pleased in you. Jesus went on and later said, As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Meaning the mimicking of the relationship that existed between the Father and Son is to exist between an earthly parent and the child. It's to be the example for us, and understanding what love is and how that can affect us and bring encouragement into our lives. But instead, the iniquity of relatives has played on into the third and fourth generation in order to man up. We've got to be willing to break the sin cycle. And guys, can I tell you this morning, tell us more some men than the women ladies, you can take this as well. But as men, we tend to be people of few words. But unless you take the opportunity to tell your kid that you love them, they're not going to know if you live your life with it must just be understood rather than just declaring it to them. They're not going to know guys unless you weekly, daily take your wife and you grab her and you look into her eyes as if you're trying to peer into her heart and let her know that you love her.

She's not going to know. Just as Moses went up on the mountain and he had this conversation with God, and God shares with him his nature, in verse six, he tells us exactly who he is, not what he isn't about. He isn't about sin. It tells us in verse seven, but he starts by telling, listen, this is who I am, and this is my concern over you. I want you to break the sin cycle, but not just stop sinning. What I want you to do is to begin to experience my love. And so he says in verse seven, the effects of sin and what it brings into her life, but the desire not to just walk away from sin, but to walk into his arms because he's a God that is compassionate and gracious and slow to anger and abounding and loving kindness and truth. Unless you share that, people won't know. It becomes a response of both action and words. It tells us in this passage of Scripture that sin can affect third and fourth generations. And can I tell you this morning, just because you've sinned or someone else sins doesn't mean that sin has to affect into the third and fourth generation. But the promise of this verse, the statement of this verse, is without the hope of God, that the sin will affect third and fourth generation. The response isn't, oh no, my dad sinned against me, or my grandparents sinned against me.

We've got one more generation to that curse is lifted. The response is, let's walk away from sin. Let's break that sin cycle, and let's look to what Jesus has for us. That's the only way that sin cycle is broken. And for us to be able to man up, we've got to begin to see ourselves the way that God sees us. And we have to begin to break the sin cycle, to walk away from a world that's about self and selfishness and sin, and look to Jesus. The third is this we must give and receive forgiveness. Can I tell you, for those who struggle to give forgiveness, the best way to begin to learn, to forgive, give forgiveness, is to look at the own forgiveness you need in your life. Does that make sense? Where have you needed forgiven? It really begins in your relationship with Jesus. Can I tell you? A couple of weeks ago, I had a frustrating moment in my life where there was a person who was not seeing things the way that a I felt the Lord would want them to see it. And so I was beating my head against the wall, sharing this with a person. And I shared it. And I poured out my heart and nothing changed. You ever been there? Like, were you want to forgive somebody else of something? And you go to them and you say, I was I was wrong on what I did, and you're waiting for them to say and forgive me for what I did to you.

And they don't do it. And you're like, ah. I was sharing with an individual and I was beating my head against the wall, and they weren't seeing things the way I thought Scripture communicated to them. And I walked away and I was frustrated, and I just passively said something to someone else, and their immediate response was them was then just take time and forgive them the way Jesus has forgiven you. I just felt convicted. You're right. Fast forward or rewind. Excuse me? Just a few years before and my heart would have been calloused to that same issue. I didn't always see things the way that God wanted me to see him. How many times must have God looked down at this world and just thought, if you would just turn to me? What are you doing? I have given my life for you. I'm loving you with everything that I have. Why aren't you listening to me? Just think of my own life. If I could begin to understand how much forgiveness God has really given to me. How much easier it would be for me to forgive those who have wronged against me. It says in Colossians 312, so as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion and kindness, humility, humility, gentleness, and patience.

When you realize in your life how much God had to forgive you, to look past your sin and love you for you, it brings you to a place of just utter humility. You think of Adam and Eve when they first sinned against God, and the Bible tells us that they ran and put on fig leaves. They created the first religion in the world. They covered their sins from God and they tried to look appealing to the Lord. And what God did when he immediately got to the garden is he ripped those fig leaves off and exposed their nakedness. He exposed them in their sin, and then he forgave them and clothed them. The Bible tells us. And priestly garments. How humiliating that is to realize that you've come to a place of sin stumbled, and the humility it brings in your own life. When you look to God and you realize, man, I have fallen short time and time again and I've needed your forgiveness. And so he says with that attitude, because of what Jesus has done for you. And then in verse 13, bearing with one another and forgiving each other. God's not finished with me yet. I am going to make someone mad. Maybe even today in church. But remember, we're all on the same path and God is not finished with me yet.

To those who've trusted in Christ that we are to remember to bear one another's burdens and forgive each other of our burdens, and reminding ourselves of the need to do that because of Jesus's forgiveness on us. That says whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you forgive them. We all have junk in our life. Amen. Not me. And we all need forgiveness. And we've got to recognize when it comes to forgiving and learning, to give forgiveness to others, that there are things in our lives that we can't change. For instance, you can't change your past. We can't move forward in this world unless we can learn to forgive. And you cannot change your past. The only thing you can do is forgive it, to let it go so you can move forward. It's difficult to move forward when you're carrying the burdens of the past on your shoulders. We can also recognize when it comes to forgiveness. You can't change another person, no matter how much you want them to see the truth. You can't change their heart. It's between them and God. You can influence them. You can love them, but you can't change them. But what you can change is yourself. You choose to forgive and not forgive. The Bible tells us the greatest example and the greatest reminder for us as people to learn, to give and receive forgiveness is to simply look to Jesus.

And I think this morning when it talks about we talk about together, about manning up. What could that mean in our relationships as men husbands? It requires us to become humble in our attitude and to walk in humility. And no matter how much you may have resentment, even towards your spouse, and no matter how much you may want them to forget to ask for forgiveness for things they've done against you being the leader of your household. God has called you to go into your home and with humility, desiring not at all for your wife to come to you and ask for forgiveness, but for you just to simply go to her. And in humility, ask for forgiveness for the things that you've done against her. The guy is humble. Humble your heart before your children and opportunities that you've had, where you've made mistakes and you knew that you should have done better. And demonstrating Jesus to your family. Tell your kids, kids, you know I'm not perfect. This is where I failed. This is where I want to be. Will you forgive me? To learn the ability to forgive and not only forgive in humility, seek forgiveness yourself. Being a man isn't always about walking around with the biggest chest. The Bible tells us he has shown the old man what is good and what the Lord requires you to do justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God and to show your kids that you have respect even in your failures.

You even have respect enough for them to ask for forgiveness where you failed because you are walking humbly under the supervision and the authority of your God. Next we'd say this. You've got to be willing to die. Can I tell you something that's just plagued our culture is pleasure and seeking that pleasure just for yourself? You ask somebody what the purpose of life is. I think I feel like half the time I asked that question. The response that I get is, whatever makes you happy. Life. God just made me. I'm just here, I just exist. I evolved, some people would say just to do whatever makes me happy. But Galatians 220 tells you that God has called you for more than that. And I think this world, our culture, is hungry for men that are noble enough to say, you know what? Life isn't about me. Life is about relationships. Loving God with everything that I am and using that love and my relationship with God to teach others how to better love him and to love others through him. It says in Galatians 220, Paul laid it all out. He says, I've been crucified with Christ, and it's no longer I who live, but it's Christ that lives in me and the life which I now live in the flesh.

I live by faith. And the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. I mean God, God called you to die, but God didn't call you to just die. God also called you to live. And the life that he called you to live is something far greater than just selfishness and self-pleasing and pleasure that comes through you. Meaning God wants you to be joyful. I don't want to make it sound like God doesn't want you to be joyful. And some of the worst, worst, worst thing ever is a Christian who has no joy. I don't want that Jesus. Bible tells us through the fruit of His Spirit we have love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness. So in Christ there is joy. But the way that we get to that joy isn't by saying simply, I just want to do whatever makes me happy. It's about surrendering our lives to Christ. It's a lot less burden in this world to carry when you only got one plan for your future. And that is Jesus. You try to find your joy and everything else. You got to worry about. All the responsibilities and burdens come with it. But when you die to self, the only concern that you have is Jesus. And Paul is saying, for us as people to man up what we need is to die to self and to live to Jesus, to not be a taker, but a giver in this world.

Think of that type of man today. He lives in his mom's basement. He's 40 years old and his full time job is video games, right? That's a pleasure seeking life. Do we have any of those people? No, I'm just kidding. Everybody feel embarrassed for that one person that's here. What else class is this? We talk about manning up. What's important for us to do. To admit that we can't do it on our own. Ecclesiastes four nine says this. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together, they keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone to two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Let me ask you a question. You know, this will just be rhetorical. You can just kind of do like this if you want to raise your hand. How much? How many of you guys have insurance on anything? Why do you buy insurance? There you go. Why do you. Why do you buy insurance in case a disaster happens? Right? You want to be protected? I mean, you've done it for health.

You've done it for your house. You've done it for your car. You've even done it some in some cases for your retirement and your kids going to college. I mean, you're just insured out and we're insured upon insured. Right. And America, if there's one thing we're great at is insurance. Why is it when we come to our spiritual life, we don't get insured? Follow me on this. How many of you have a close friend that you can go to and just confess your deepest struggles? How many of you know right now that there's something in your life that you have been struggling with for a long time, and you have yet to find one brother or sister in Christ to hold you accountable for that. To just pray for you and love you and encourage you and to meet those needs. Because you know, in that area of your life, Satan just has control. Why do we feel the need to get insured and everything physical in this world that's going to go away and give no concern to the spiritual? That kind of hurt? Sorry. That's what Ecclesiastes is talking about. Satan may wreck your bank account a little bit, but more than anything, what he wants to do is devastate your spiritual life. And what he wants to do is he wants to devastate that so magnificently that it affects not just you, but your family to the third and fourth generation.

What Ecclesiastes tells us to do as people. If you're serious about your relationship with God, if you're serious about manning up, you have to admit to yourself that you need help. None of us have the strength to take on satanic attack or sin by ourselves. If that were the case, God would have never created his church. But God's given us a community to depend upon and to pray with, and to rely on one another and love and strength and support to push us closer to Jesus. Because God knows everything that he's called us to be in this world and to rather than walk around like a caged lion, he wants us to walk around as warriors for him. And at times in our lives where we feel like Gideon hiding in a hole, we need some friends to come along us to remind us that God has called us to be people of valor for him. And when we consider ourselves living in a time or a place where Jesus needs to be proclaimed more now than ever, we need to see ourselves the way that God has called us to be. We need to be able to break the sin cycle by looking to Jesus, to receive and give forgiveness, to die to self and admit that we can't do it on our own.