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Today is the day that it’s just a warning for you. If it can go wrong, it will. All right. Because we’ve experienced that a few times this morning. And so that leaves with a great introduction to our opening section. We are in a series together called FAQs.. It’s the last couple of weeks we’re going to be spending on this Frequently Asked Questions. And one of the questions that we want to define for us biblically according to Scripture, because it is such a hot topic that pervades our culture today and it’s inundated in our culture, is what does the Bible say about sex and sexuality? I got to tell you today, I’m going to be cutting this a little short because of the heat. And so it will not be the extent of the justice that it deserves. And even bringing up a topic like this can be insurmountable in the ideas of of subjects that you would desire to cover. In in sex and sexuality, just talking about sex and sexuality immediately begins the debates of pro-choice, pro-life, abortion, contraceptives, homosexuality, bestiality, polygamy, orgies, bigamy, adultery, fornication, nudity, nudity, pornography, contraceptives, marriage. Who’s right for you to marry? What does it mean to live a single life? What gender is all about? What sexism all about? What’s women’s rights all about? Not to mention you turn on the TV today, and you’re filled with the thought and idea that sex just sells beer. Commercials full of of it. Axe body spray.
I don’t even know how that relates, but it’s it’s there. Victoria’s secret flaunting its stuff. Next thing you know, churches will be advertising that way. Talking about sex and sexuality has several topics and garments for which we could cover and even talking about culture. Today we dress far more provocatively than in the past. Is that okay? Some people are content with baring their bodies and calling it art. Some people are okay with selling their bodies and making a buck, while others would die before someone saw someone saw themselves exposed. Our society is obsessed with sexuality and sexual relationships. When we consider all the ideas of sex and sexuality and what God would have us to understand when we bring up such topics, the good basis for us to begin is simply by defining and asking ourselves, really, what does God want? We get a definition and a clear idea of God’s understanding of what sex and sexuality is about. It drives our thinking and our ideas to live in this world the way, the way that God would desire. God’s outline for sex and sexuality really began in the book of Genesis. Scripture defines, while we’re running around literally buck naked, he begins to describe for us what mankind is about and what our sex sexuality is all about for us as people. He says in Genesis 126 and 27, let us, God said, let us make man in our image according to our our likeness.
Verse 27, God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created him, male and female. He created them. I got to say, in the passing of a loved one, um, it’s hard to find times to be thankful in the death of those that you grieve at their loss. But it’s good to know that when someone is trusted in the Lord is their Savior, that you have the hope of seeing them in heaven again. So rejoice in that today. My mother flew out for our vacation, and she was planning on being here for this message today. And I got to say, talking about sex and sexuality in front of your mom, it’s got to be one of the most uncomfortable things. So just thankfulness today that we get to talk about this. But when God made us, he said he created us in his image. He both created male and female in his image, which says to us as people defined by in our gender, within our gender, that God, though we are different genders, created us equally because he both created us in his image. He created us equal, but obviously created us different. And the beauty about understanding that God is the one that fastened us together and God designed us as human beings, is that God doesn’t create anything poorly. In fact, God creates everything beautifully. Your value and worth is not in what you do or how you look, but it’s in who you are.
Nothing wrong with cleaning up and taking a shower and looking good, right? As people being created in God’s image, we’re created as people who appreciate beauty because God makes things who are beautiful, that are beautiful. Excuse me. Beautiful. And we are made in his image. Therefore, we enjoy things that are beautiful. But when God begins to define beauty rather than define it from from the outside in, God defines it from the inside out. And your value is attributed to you based on the image for which you were created. And God makes everything beautifully. The Bible then goes on and says for this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Saying to us as people that God created you with the gift and the ability to give yourself away to a spouse. Men tend to have a one track mind sometimes, and they will read this verse and instantly think about sexual intimacy, right? Becoming one flesh. That’s obviously what he’s talking about there. But when God defines it for us in a marital relationship, he’s not just talking about sexual intimacy and God’s desire to become one flesh in creating both man and woman what God desires in your relationship, believe it or not, isn’t isn’t happiness, though he does want you to be happy. What God desires is oneness and then that desire for you to experience oneness in your relationship.
He has given the marriage relationship the gift of the depth of an intimacy that no other relationship can compare to. And when God talks about becoming one flesh, yes, he does talk about it in the sense that it happens physically, but he also describes it emotionally. He describes it spiritually. He describes it mentally. For this reason, the husband leaves his family. He’s joined to his wife, and they work at becoming one flesh. Sex isn’t an end to itself. It is a means to an end. For the purpose of producing intimacy within the marriage relationship. God created intimacy for us in every way. God’s desire for you is that you would experience life through community. Life is about relationships. Jesus said, love the Lord your God with all of your heart and love others. And in creating for us and an intimate setting, he gives us the opportunity to not experience loneliness. He said in Genesis in the in the first chapters of the Bible, it is not good for man to be alone. I’ll create a woman suitable for him. God’s desire for us is that we wouldn’t be lonely, but experience community. There are some times in our lives in relationships where we may want to be alone, but God’s desire is for companionship. I love what Adam says in this passage. God goes on to define it. He says, for this God saw all that he made, and behold, it was very good.
You think about the opportunity in which God created Eve and brought Eve before Adam and his immediate response. It tells us in the Bible he begins to sing to her, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. It’s beautiful to sing to your wife. Adam immediately accepts Eve as his wife and works on becoming one flesh, intimate in their relational experience, together at a depth in which they will never experience in any other relationship in in their life. Adam received Eve. Do you know when Adam received Eve? The Bible never tells us that. Adam then quizzed Eve before accepting her. You know, maybe the horse down the road would be a better mate for me or something. That never happened. Eve. Do you know how to cook? My favorite food is pizza. Those conversations never existed, because what Adam understood about the creation of Eve is that he saw Eve as God’s gift to him. How beautiful is that to picture your spouse that way. Or if you’re married, thinking about the intimacy that God desires for you to have in a relationship with a loved one one day with your spouse. How beautiful it is to think that God has prepared a mate for you. It is his gift to you that you’re able to receive and rejoice over an experience. The depth of relational beauty and intimacy for which God has created you. Thankful that God has created marriage. Thankful that God has created such intimacy and depth in the in our nakedness and exposure that we can experience true love with another.
We reflect the glory of God to each other, being created in his image. God then designing the marital relationship gives the marriage couple a greater opportunity, more than than any other intimate setting, to express God’s image to each other. God doesn’t create anything poorly. He creates it beautifully. The marriage relationship to us sometimes can seem difficult, but God’s desire is that we look at it as a gift from him to experience the joy and intimacy that he desires. The first institution God makes is marriage. The most intimate institution God makes is marriage, and we find that in a marriage relationship, as a couple experiences the intimacy and oneness that God desires for your relationship. Through that intimacy, through that oneness, you begin to experience joy. But not only that, the Bible tells us God blessed them and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it and rule. God’s plan. Through the intimacy of a marriage relationship is that in that intimacy would build health, and through the health of that marriage, it would then spread into the family. And as it’s reflected upon that family, the family becomes fruitful and multiplies over the earth and healthily subdues it and rules and reigns. That’s God’s plan for marriage. Does a lot to recognize just the simplicity of God’s outline and design for us in sex and sexuality, because when we stray from anything that God has desired here, we rob ourselves of God’s blessing in our lives and experiencing the joy for which he created us.
When we don’t understand sex and sexuality, it messes. We’ll see in a minute with our identity and it messes with our commitment. For instance, when you have a couple unmarried shacking up together, there is no sense of commitment to the marital bonds that keeps them together. At any point, it becomes easy to leave. But the commitment of marriage and that intimacy says to the to each other that we are committed to one another we We want to drive towards that oneness in which God describes for us. God’s desire in that intimacy is that we become healthy and multiply and be fruitful robs ourself in this world. When we think about Bambi dads according to God’s design, what in the world is a Bambi dad? Ever seen the movie Bambi? You ever seen Bambi’s dad? Poor Bambi is confused throughout that entire movie. He didn’t know if his friend should be the squirrel, the rabbit, the skunk who knows what he is. And Bambi, when he’s birthed into this world, doesn’t even see his father to teach him how to grow up into this world until he becomes a man. And the only thing his dad does is he shows up when the force is on fire and he says, Bambi, run! Way to go, dad. He noticed in the animal kingdom, where we’re a lot different than any other creature that exists.
When an animal comes into this world, a horse born can walk, right? Get up, learn to eat when I’m out of here. When a child is born into a family, ever wondered at why God would create children with a need to be nurtured much longer than any other animal that exists in this world? The training of a child takes a lifetime. And God’s desire is that the husband and wife would begin to experience the intimacy for which he created us, that we would understand that our sexuality, it makes us equal, but it makes us different. There’s giftedness in our abilities that God has given to each, both the male and the female, and we need to highlight those differences within us and use them to magnify the intimacy and our relationship with the benefit of our family. And in that intimacy between a husband and wife, the family grows with health. This was God’s design for the marital relationship. God’s purpose for sexuality. God’s purpose for sex was to be experienced in this way between a husband and wife. In the meantime, the Bible says, and understanding God’s plan for sex and sexuality. This is what became our desire. And in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the women and burned in their desire towards one another. Men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.
And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind to do those things which are not proper. Men have the opportunity to use what God has given us for his glory, and oftentimes we abuse it for our personal self gratification. We do that with everything. Everything becomes an idol to us as people. Bible tells us, for instance, warned several times against money. It tells us don’t love money, but money in itself isn’t inherently bad. But we can make it an idol. Football season man is about to start. And so our idolatry begins until January, right? And the same thing happens with sex and sexuality. Everything that God defines for good, we turn it into bad and make it about self-gratification rather than about God’s glory. We ruin the things that God makes for goodness. God creating sexuality for intimacy. We make it between a couple. We make it about self. Listen to some of these statistics for us today and our understanding of sex and sexuality today. In America, 12 million unmarried couples cohabitate. The cohabitation rate between unmarried couples is up 88% from 1990. Those living in cohabitation together before marriage have a far lower success rate in marriage. Married couples themselves having a lack of understanding of the intimacy that God desires. Statistics say 20% of those who are married live in a sexless, intimate, less marriage.
Kids in single parent homes have a higher rate of teen pregnancy, living in poverty, struggling with addiction and having a criminal record. If you Google the state of Utah, the state of Utah pops up number one in some good categories, number one in a lot of bad categories, and the one category that we lead the nation in is internet pornography download and purchases. The average age of first internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old. Child pornography generates $3 billion annually. 47% of families say pornography is a problem in their home. Ten out of, excuse me, five out of every ten men in church are struggling with pornography. I think that stats a lie. I think it’s actually higher, but that was the stat. According to 2004 IFR research, US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS and NBC. Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchise pornography industry, according to conservative estimates, brings in $57 billion a year of which the United States is responsible for $14 billion of that. One out of every six women grapple with addiction to pornography. Every second, $3,000 are spent on pornography. Every minute two kids go into child pornography, 110,000 searches for kid porn exists every day on the internet. And believe it or not, today in the world there are more slaves that exist in the in the entire world than have ever existed before in all of history.
And the slaves that exist today exist because of sex trafficking. Women are taken from countries of poverty and poverty, situations promised opportunity and jobs taken away from their homes and locked up as slaves to serve other people sexually. And you know, that doesn’t just exist in other countries. It exists here in America. And that doesn’t even begin to describe the statistics of rape and sexual abuse. The fact that half of every teenager from 15 to 19 is sexually active. Sex and sexuality in our country is out of control. And the picture of what God desires for us is second to the self-gratification that we want in our own lives. It’s a far cry from what the Bible says in Philippians chapter four and verse eight. Finally, brethren, whatever is true and whatever is honorable, and whatever is right, and whatever is pure and lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Now look at the picture of what God describes for us and the desire for marriage couples, and the gift that he’s given for the intimacy to exist there and the way that we have robbed it. And I look at the statistics of things that we read about sex and sexuality in this world and people being taken advantage of. And I and I say to myself, I don’t want any part of this. How can we avoid this from happening in our lives? We can experience the joy for which Jesus created, for the intimacy of relationships, the way God wants it to be.
And the answer is understanding the importance of walking with integrity in your own lives. Wherever the boundary line is. Someone’s always willing to take it one step further and one step further. And culture, where it was in the 1950s is a far cry from where it is today. So what should be our desires, people? To just make our lives about what Jesus wants. I understand the importance of commitment and intimacy. I love in the book of Job. This is going to be in the NIV translation. But I think job understood the beauty of God’s gift of sexuality and sexual intimacy. And he also saw the opportunity that it presented to rob it of its joy and its giftedness, for which God has created and job made this comment in job 31 and verse one, I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. Let me just be realistic for a moment for the guys to say that you’re going to walk in this world and not recognize the beauty of the opposite sex as men is an absurd, ridiculous statement to make. God created you to be attracted to beauty. Be thankful for that. Because if you’re married, that’s what brought you your wife. And if you plan to be married, that’s what will help bring you your wife. The desire to find that mate, right? But it’s when you begin to take that second look at another woman and begin to let your mind wander, that it begins to become lust.
God created you to appreciate beauty. And as guys, we should be thankful today that women do not smell and live in life the way that we do. There is something sweet smelling about women that are different than men. And it brought your wife to you. And now, while God has created you as a male, attracted to females, God’s desires that you then take that attraction and use that motivation towards the one female that he’s given you in your life, your wife. And he’s asked you through that to to funnel the energy of attraction towards her and the beauty for which she has been made. Because God doesn’t make anything ugly, but everything beautiful. And God has asked us in jobs, even recognized as men that there is a need in our lives to make a covenant to ourselves, to take our eyes and to put it on our women. Excuse me. Your woman. And so let me just give a thought. And related to that. How should our culture respond and correct its behavior today? The problem, the number one problem that I would say exists in our culture today with sex and sexuality is that we look towards people for our own personal self gratification. We’re motivated towards sex for personal pleasure. And the problem with that is that it makes other people objects to be used, rather than human beings to be honored, created in God’s image.
I want to be careful in saying that, because what I don’t want to come across is that sex isn’t an enjoyable experience. And, and, and I think the church has done a horrible job in acknowledging that it is a God given and good thing to experience with your spouse. God made it good for a reason. You think in your life if he created marriage and he made sexual intimacy a horrific thing, that rather than be attracted to each other, you would want to run away from each other. But God made the most intimate setting also an enjoyable experience so that you could think wonderful, joyful thoughts in that relational experience with your spouse. Enjoyable things with people make you want to get together and enjoy those things together, right? One day I’m going back to Yellowstone. I just got back from there and I loved it. It was enjoyable. It attracts me back to it. I haven’t seen a bear yet. And it’s the same thing with sexual relationships. The goodness of that commitment towards one another says to each other in that marriage relationship, listen, this is a vulnerable moment that we’re about to experience with each other. But you’re safe with me because I’m committed to you and you’re committed to me. And so let’s experience that intimacy and that joy that God has given us in the sexual relationship in this world.
Christians should have the best experience because you understand it better than anyone for what God has created it to be. And rather than look at other people for personal self gratification and pleasure and objects to be used, you understand it as a moment to experience intimacy and oneness for which God has created and your relationship. And that is beautiful. Knowing you’re attracted to beauty. Job has then said, and out of control he can wreak havoc. And so I’m making a covenant with my eyes to view this relationship with the one that God has gifted me with to say to her, there is nothing more that I would rather do than take this energy and to be intimate with you. Because you are God’s gift to me. We treat sex and advertising like if you would just indulge in it, you would be happy. Our culture is so ingrained on self that we have lack of reverence for each other and what God desires for us, rather than our desire for ourselves. We’re taught to view one another for our own personal gain. We teach young women to take their beautiful, God given image and exploit to satisfy satisfy someone else’s sexual cravings, rather than learn to be a human being of God given worth. You become an object to be used and abused rather than a lady created in God’s beauty, in God’s image. We teach young men to look at women as objects of pleasure, rather than women who need to be honored, created in God’s image.
In fact, in first Timothy five two, Paul said to the men, treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with absolute purity. Listen to how crazy people get with this idea of sex. The early church had such a horrible thought on the beauty for which God created it, so much so that Augustine thought horribly of sexual relationships. He tried to. He wanted to avoid it all together. Origin literally castrated himself in the first couple of centuries, just in the martyr. If he if he lusted, he would immediately throw himself in in a bushel of thorns. Ladies, if you see your guys looking too long, maybe you should do that. There was actually a group called the Bleeding Pharisees. If they passed women on the streets, they were so worried about lusting that they would look down at the ground and they would bump into things and cause themselves to bleed. And so they received the nickname Bleeding Pharisees. And the church has done a horrible job of acknowledging the beauty for which God created it, and simply accepting it for what it is. God’s plan for your sexuality and for sex is to use it as a gift for intimacy between a husband and wife to become one, and thereby bear fruit and multiply. Multiply. God made it enjoyable so you can have an enjoyable experience with the one that you are to love and commit to the most, in the most intimate of settings.
It’s not about self pleasure though. There is pleasure in it. It’s about getting in the in a sacred moment, in total nakedness and offering yourself to another. It’s the greatest gift that you have to give to the one that God has given you. And when the marriage is healthy, when it’s intimate and it’s sexuality and understanding. The family is healthy and it becomes the building block towards community and better societal living. Statistics reflect that out of God’s design for marriage and that relationship, when we listen to his desire for our lives and his purpose in creating our sexuality and intimacy, there is no greater benefit to your family and to your life. And so, in conclusion, what does God care about your faithfulness to him? God cares a lot. Bible tells us repeatedly that when we sexually offend against him and against the one he created for us to have as a spouse, he will judge us. Sex is his gift, unique to marriage and his sexuality, his gift to us as people to enjoy that relationship with one another. The risk of unfaithfulness is the hurt of intimacy. We are attracted to beauty, and God has desired for us to take that beauty and fixated on the one that he desires for you in this life. That’s the kind of life that God can bless, one that willingly lays itself down for him.
And here’s the good thing about all of this. We get to an end of the story and we talk about sex and sexuality. Here’s here’s what I can just plainly understand is that it’s such a struggle in our society today that nearly everyone can walk away feeling guilty about it. I don’t want everyone walking away feeling guilty about it. What would rather be preferable is that everyone walk away with an understanding of what God desires, and then making the decision of your mind. Lord, I just want to follow you because what you want for us is best in this world. And so when God creates this opportunity for you to experience intimacy, that we can channel it the way that God desires. And the beautiful thing about it is that God heals all wounds. God can heal us from any adversity we’re facing, any struggle we’re experiencing, any unfaithfulness we may have had if we can turn it over to him, God can heal us in it. God wants our intimacy to be close in that marriage relationship. You know, the beauty about this marriage relationship that God describes for us is that God has taken the most intimate of relationships in this world, the marriage relationship. And he’s described his relationship with us the same way. He’s like saying to us, you know, I’m trying to to get a picture in your mind to understand the magnitude for which I want to be involved in your life.
I want you to experience closeness to you. And the only thing that you have comparable to that in this world is the marriage relationship. And the beautiful thing about it is that in the adversity of your marriage relationship, and even when you may find disappointment in that, God will never disappoint you. Amen. God takes our understanding of the most intimate and gifted settings that he has created on this earth. And so you see that. You see what we described in Genesis just like that. I want to be close to you. God can heal anything in our lives and our struggles if we would just draw near to him. So here’s our desire this morning that we become people who make a covenant in our own lives to just live the way that God desires. Understanding why he created intimacy for us. Using that gift in marriage to further that intimacy with one another. Guys, when we read about becoming one flesh, not just immediately think it’s just about sex. Ladies, knowing that your husband probably thinks that about that verse. But today he’s been defined differently and knowing it’s intimacy all the way around. Sex isn’t an end in itself. It’s a means to an end to create oneness with your spouse. And rather than look to your spouse or each other as objects to be used for personal pleasure, look to one another as being created as beautiful designs in God’s image.